God used a book

The most recent neat "wife" lesson involved a book. My husband has never been an avid reader. He has preferred movies throughout his life. We own hundreds of books. The ones about marriage and parenting have all been read- by me. Occasionally, he would suffer through a book that I begged him to read. Finally we learned that books on CD are better for him. He has made great use of his travel time this way. Over the last couple of years, he has read books that other men have given him. (That is a HUGE clue. Note to self: other men can encourage my husband more effectively than I can sometimes.) I think he has even started to enjoy reading recently.

Last week he brought home a copy of "The Shack". It is a Christian novel and has sold millions of copies. He began to read it avidly. In every spare moment he read that book. Early in the morning and late in the evening he was reading. This was such strange behavior for him, so I became very curious about his motivation.

The conversation went something like this:
Who gave you that book? Answer: my boss. (She's an unmarried lady who lives and works in another state)
Question 2: Why? Answer: I guess she thought I would enjoy it.
Long pause...He's still reading...I'm wondering how to ask this hard question:
So, I'm just wondering why, after all the begging and pleading I've done over the years to get you to read a book for our family's benefit, why someone at work can have such influence?...His reply: Oh. Yeah. I can see why you are a little annoyed about that.

Later, I did confess that I was trying to not be offended that this novel from his boss was consuming his free time. I did learn that she was coming to town in a few days and he hoped to give it back to her then rather than mailing it. I made a couple more (unnecessary) comments over the long weekend and he continued to read and finally finish the book. In the meantime...

One morning he asked me to read a chapter that he had just finished. It was about men and women and how they allow other priorities to prevail over their relationship with Christ. That was a surprising insight into his new favorite book. I was happy to finally be part of the process and to see that the book he was reading had real substance.

Another morning, before work he asked if I would forgive him for all the times over the years that he had not been totally honest with me. He had not been unfaithful in any manner. He was referring to the sly, covert responses to questions, the half-truths, etc. He is not a dishonest person. I had just been a demanding wife, to the point that he had developed some habits of hiding some answers that he knew I wouldn't like. Mostly, they were questions and answers about how much time he'd spent on the computer, or watching tv.

His confession and apology came as a shock and a huge relief. I had been hurt so many times by his semi-honest explanantions. I knew somehow that I had probably encouraged it, but just the same, I hate dishonesty. I was thankful that he had realized that I needed to forgive him. I thanked him and forgave him.

Then he said that something he'd read in "The Shack" had caused him to realize that he needed to ask me for forgiveness for not being totally honest. Wow! I have prayed so many times for his integrity. Yet, if I had nagged him about that book until he gave it up, he might have never come to the conclusion that I had been praying for!

Today, I asked him what was in the novel that caused him to think about honesty. He said there was nothing. It was a section about forgiveness. He didn't want me to be living in unforgiveness simply because he hadn't asked for it. That was shock Number Two. He did it for my benefit, not his! What a generous husband I have!

God does answer godly prayers: those that are in line with His word. But I am forever amazed at HOW God chooses to answer my prayers! I was thankful, this time, that my husband did not give into my desire for him to put down that book. My jealousy nearly ruined a work that God was going to do in our marriage. My husband continued strong, and God rewarded us both!