How Do You Do It?

When people learn that we have nine children they often ask that question, or they will say that I must be a saint, or have endless amounts of patience, or a very helpful husband or very well-behaved children. It's funny. No one suggests that it might just be hard work or a supernatural mystery.

I do my best to give God the glory on every occasion. Afterall, I know that I wouldn't even entertain the idea of having many children were it not for the inspiration of His Holy Spirit and the conviction by His Word. Likewise, there are those days that I am acutely aware that each breath is coming from Him, every smile toward a little one, and each kind word too. However, it is so difficult to encapsulate seventeen years of striving to be a godly parent in a one minute conversation with a stranger. I always pray that whatever words leave my mouth are from Him. And I have to remind myself to rest in the answers when the conversation is over. There's no replay nor do-over.

As the family grows and the days are harder I ask myself how I will "do it" today, this week or this year. I've even said that I cannot "do it" anymore. I've threatened to quit "doing it". At some point between baby 5 and baby 6 I realized that I couldn't keep doing many things. We changed from a busy, age-segregated church to a family friendly one. I ceased leading the homeschool group. Ladies' bible study ended. Home businesses fell to the wayside. The organic produce food co-op was cancelled. Perfectly clean carpet, floors, windows and bathrooms became a faint memory. I turned over nearly all of my household duties to various semi-capable, energetic children, and that meant letting go of my high standards that I had for myself.

Even after "quitting" many busy activities, I still found myself overwhelmed and feeling unable to "do it". I longed for the days when I felt as if it were all under control. I loved doing the yardwork, painting, building,...ultimately doing the wife and husband roles, except for earning the majority of the money. Outdoor jobs are much more rewarding than indoor jobs. Generally the results last longer outdoors. Laundry and dishes can be the most depressing duties since there is no end. A nicely manicured lawn can be enjoyed for atleast a week. And a clean coat of paint will be adored for years. No one hardly notices that all the clothing is reorganized, labeled, and boxed for another year in the attic or closet. It can be discouraging to be a mother.

I have a vague memory of realizing about five years ago that in the earliest years of parenting I had done a very good job and probably lived entirely on youthful zeal. I know the Lord was with me. But I didn't remember really depending on Him while my energy was high and I could still "do it" all. I concluded that it was a good thing to come to the end of myself since I knew that would be the start of truly resting in Him. I did commit to read my Bible every possible morning and then teach it to the children after breakfast. I had to remind myself that it would be okay if that was all I accomplished. With all the pressure to do more lifted off of me, those days tended to be our best ones.

Since our ninth baby has come I've experienced yet another version of "I can't do it" anymore. I suppose it could be a combination of my increasing age and need for more sleep. However I have noticed that my zeal needs recharging more often than ever before. Something about a good argument, or constantly having to defend one's lifestyle to fellow church-goers or family members keeps one passionate. I get along beautifully with my husband when we are fighting the "bad guys" together. When attacks come we dig into the Word, and we are strengthened. I think this is the key. We pray for peace and dread the criticism but the battles keep us lively and fresh. Now I will not be asking for attacks on our life. But I will try to remember to be the cheerleader in our home who reminds all the members of our calling. I've recently reminded them that I need their encouragment. We're working on a more formal version of our family vision. I am blessed by my husband's growing desire to lead his flock to the Lord. This is a sweet and crucial time in our family and I want to be "in the game" not whinning on the sidelines.

I have been reminded to pray for my friends who may be dealing with the same temptation to grow weary in well doing. This is good. We will support one another as the Body of Christ should.

We sang some older songs tonight during family worship. It was a sweet time. All the youngest children were seated on the floor in front of their father and me. We sang without any music. One song in particular struck my heart. The words are so foundational. I think I remember it from one of Micheal W. Smith's albums:

God you are my God and I will ever praise you.
I will seek you in the morning and I will learn to walk in your ways.
Step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days.

As their little voices sang "I will follow you all of my days" I realized that is our family vision! And that is how we will keep "doing it". We will seek Him in the morning and He will teach us how to walk in His ways. He will lead us step by step, as He always has. And as a result, we will follow Him all of our days! Halleluiah!