Organization

I've been accused of keeping a neat and organized home. I generally try to respond graciously to such comments, but inside I am thinking of all the places in the house that constantly scream "disorganization" at me. Over the years, I have developed a few habits that help keep our home streamlined. Friends have asked how we manage it. Recently a precious friend asked for suggestions and photos. So although I am not impressed by our level of neatness, I will gladly share, in hopes that we may help another. I must warn you that this could possibly the most boring blog entry you've ever read, unless you just happen to be interested in how other families keep up with their stuff. :)

Because I do think the cleanliness and neatness of our home is one way the God can be glorified in this family, I make it a priority. Not a room in our house would be neat or clean if I did not expect/demand it everyday. Learning how to involve/inspire the children, not get angry, and not lose my joy when I can't keep it up, are my struggles. Sometimes people think that well-behaved children are just born that way and that well kept houses belong to people who don't make messes. Both are false.

Here are some ideas that work for us- 8 children, 2 adults, three bedrooms:

-pyramid bunk beds: double on bottom, twin on top
-each child has two/three dresser drawers for clothing
-each child owns enough clothes for one week only, per season (warm/cold)
-limited amts. of stuff are allowed on top of the dressers
-each older girl has one box of personal stuff under the bed
-younger girls share underbed boxes with themes such as baby dolls/clothes/dress-up
-out of season clothes for upcoming year are in underbed boxes
-closet floors are for shoes, hangers for clothes, shelves for hand me downs or out of season clothing/linens
-baby clothes fit nicely in the plastic rolling stacked drawers, so we have one in our bedroom and one in the girls' room
-each child has his/her own color and monogrammed towel in the bathroom (no confusion about who it belongs to)
-handtowels are changed atleast everyday
-bath rugs are hung up, never walked on with dirty feet or shoes
-under the bathroom sink is for clean linens and organized hair and personal stuff
-everyday the floor is wiped up for hair and lint and the trash dumped out, also the surfaces are atleast wiped off, or disinfected
-all books are returned to the main bookshelf in the living room several times a day
-we give away everything that is not truly being used
-messes that cause stress are re-evaluated regularly: thrown away, relocated, or boxed in a special child-friendly bin

-hand-me-downs and other donations become part of the clothing organization or are given away immediately

We generally do keep the rule: a place for everything and everything in it's place.

A friend of mine takes pictures of things that her children would like to collect/keep, rather than keeping the items themselves. She is the same one who owns no dressers but keeps all clothing in underbed boxes.

Teri Maxwell wrote in her book, "Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit" that we should do something constructive with those "joy stealers" in our homes. She was speaking about those things that tempt us to yell at our children. If its the toys strewn all over the floor that stress us, then we need to do something about that. Get bins, label them, insist that the toys stay in the bins unless being played with. Toys that don't really go with anything have to be tossed out.

I finally decided that I was fussing at our boys too much about their messy room. After many warnings, I went in with two big underbed boxes. I told them that Legos go in one, Lincoln Logs go in the other. Everything else they had was to be thrown away. They begged to keep the animals, indians, soldiers, police and a few matchbox cars. So I found a smaller box to fit inside of one of the larger bins, and said, "If you can keep your toys organized in these three boxes then you can keep them. Otherwise, I'm giving them away." You can't imagine how nice it has been for as many as five children to play together in the boys' room with only those three categories of toys. They build cities, forts, boats, and you-name-it. The best part is that the little girls have a doll house in the den with people and furniture. Those little pieces have their own drawer in the den. But the girls bring the people and furniture to the boys' room and play for hours combining everything. The boys have never missed their pile of junk that kept them in so much trouble. And the children are learning how to get along and share.

I did the same with the little girls (that includes our 2,4,and 6 yr olds). They had a kitchen set, dishes, food, dress up clothes and a doll house as mentioned above upstairs. Everyone would come up to the room over the garage and trash the entire room. In fact the boys would bring indians, soldiers, weapons, animals, Lincoln logs, etc. and it would take hours to clean everything up!

I brought the doll house and kitchen stuff down to the den. That way I can keep an eye on what's happening before it gets out of control. I bought a set of stackable drawers for the food, dishes and doll house accessories. Amazing! No more huge messes. And no more late night, Mommy fits from going upstairs to check email at the end of a long day and finding total mayhem in the supposedly cleaned up room!!!

This is where Noah's bed and clothes are kept in our room. His outgrown or next size of clothes are kept in boxes under our bed.

We keep baby or children's clothes for the upcoming season under our bed. This way I know what we need to sew, buy or ask Grandma Butler to look for, in advance.
We really love these towels. (We used a Lands' End giftcard to buy them) They really help to keep the bathroom tidy. I'm usually the one who hangs them up with the names showing nicely. But the children do a good job of keeping them hung up.
These are the dressers that are in the girls' room. They do get cluttered each day mostly with hair elastics, brushes, ribbons and books. But it doesn't stay that way for long b/c I require it to be cleared before breakfast and bed.

This is the girls' closet. For now only Kendal and Kelsey hang their dresses and skirts in here. (The three little girls' church clothes are in the master closet with mine) All the girls keep their shoes neat in the closet floor. It's Anna's job to straighten the shoes. At six, she's a wonderful organizer. Atleast twice a day the shoes have to be brought from the front hall or back door to each person's closet, since we don't allow shoes on in the house. They are taken off at the door.
This is one of the bunks in the girls' room (this one is Mary and Anna's). If they had a bedskirt, the underbed boxes wouldn't ever be seen. So that's on our list of things to do.
These shells were from our first family vacation in Nagshead. A shadow box seemed to be the only practical way, or reason to, save shells. Recently a local gem store was closing and selling these "gem trees" for less than two dollars apiece. It was a luxury we could afford! And Kendal took this photo so we encouraged her photography skills by enlarging it and letting her frame it and hang it over her dresser.
This is one of the dressers in the boys room. They have one on each side of this window. Bob collects WWII tanks, soldiers and jeeps and displays some here. They also keep a few books. But all their trinkets have to fit in the three tiny drawers in this dresser, or out they go.
These are Isaac and Daniel's toy boxes. The only other things that are supposed to be under their bed are two buckets of magnetic letters and a bedrail. This requires daily maintenance too.
This is just the start of a huge fort or some other creation that will ultimately fill the room and have to be put away before dinner. The children don't like this rule, but it makes late night trips in and out of their room much safer for all.
I look forward to the day when they will all keep their own stuff organized without my "encouragement". But that is probably the same season when I will have a quiet house and spend my days hoping to have some grandchildren!

Raising Adults, Not Children

Bob and I are first generation homeschooling parents, just like many of our friends. To our family and friends, who don't run in the same circles, read the same media, or listen to the same sermons, it seems like we are pioneers in an unknown territory. But realistically, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of families who started schooling at home in the 70's and 80's, far ahead of us. Their children are now grown and they have families of their own. However the largest boom of homeschooling did start in the early 90's. Many of those students have since graduated highschool and college, and have families of their own. The academic results are in, no contest, homeschooling/tutoring one on one, surpasses, and at the least, equals government education success. But we are more interested in how the homeschoolers fair as grown-ups in God's kingdom and by biblical standards.

Our ears perk-up at the sound of an adult, former homeschooler's story being told. We are so curious to see how this all turns out. We are hoping that our efforts will pay off. We have many dreams. Mostly, we hope that keeping our children out of the world, for the most part, when they are very young, will help them to learn the basics of biblical living. As they mature, and begin in interact with others, outside of our home, we hope they will be able to discern God-honoring behavior from the habits of sinners. Ultimately, we hope they will choose to serve the Lord with their very lives-as salt and light in a dark world.

Thankfully, folks like Mike and Debi Pearl at No Greater Joy Ministries, among many other things, are collecting information from homeschool graduates and their families, and reporting in their newsletter about the good, bad and the ugly. I cannot say enough about how their "Jumping Ship" series (now a book) has helped us at just the right time. And this month, their first installment, in a series of articles about the outcomes of homeschooling, was right on. We don't always agree with everything they write, and they wouldn't want us to. But overall, our family has been strengthened more by their example than any other individual ministry.

We have noticed that there are many bandwagons that a homeschooling family can jump aboard. Bob and I are constantly sifting through the latest idea about things like what we should eat, wear, teach or let our children do. We need the wisdom that only God can give. Otherwise we are doing no better than our counter-parts, who send their children to school, where the latest trends are honored rather than seeking what is best for each child.

Pulling children out of school, church and community activities for various God-inspired reasons can be good and even make life a little easier than before. But figuring out how to let them go into the world and gradually test their own faith without getting perverted or victimized along the way is tougher.

Then there's the issue of the unique needs of a large family; once the oldest children are old enough to start doing things without Mom and Dad, they are so desperately needed at home with the little ones, that Mom feels she can't afford to send them out! This is where Mike Pearl's article above really helped me this week. We have to treat them as individuals without reinforcing the worldly concept of individualism. This is a fine balance. All children want to be treated as if no one else exists in the world. That is the selfish behavior that the Bible says no Christian should exhibit. Sometimes, well-meaning onlookers act as though our children are being neglected somehow, because there are eight of them. Bob and I (coming from smaller families) agree that their lives are richer because our house is full. It isn't easy, but it forces all of us to submit to God's way. Without adherence to a (perfect) "higher standard" and eternal perspective, our family would self-destruct. We believe in the long run our grown children will be more willing to serve the Lord because of their disciplined home life.

Kendal is nearly fifteen and she is our eldest child. She has never been on a retreat or trip of any sort without her parents. On a couple of occasions she stayed with my mother or Bob's mother overnight, along with her sister. That was years ago. She doesn't have a piano teacher or youth leader. In fact, except for her friends and their parents at church, no one contributes to her daily life except her siblings, father and I. Until today that is...

When I found out my mother was going to be in town this week, I started to wonder if Kendal could or should spend some time with her grandparents alone. Ultimately, Bob, Mom and I agreed that she could go home with Mom today. Mom and Bill live seven and one-half hours from here! We aren't planning to see her until our family takes vacation near their home in three weeks! It's been a very prayerful issue and we are all looking forward to whatever the Lord will do during this special time. Kendal knew nothing of our discussions and only had two days notice. She was thrilled. She packed everything for herself, of course. If she had any concerns, they were about missing little Noah. She has promised to write Kelsey and try to post here on our blog. After she left, I found a note to her daddy and me, thanking us for giving her such an opportunity!

My mother and I are the best of friends. She understands our standards and clearly supports us. If we thought she would work against our purposes, this trip would not be wise. She and Bill will be a blessing to Kendal.

We also have the challenge of explaining to the other children, and possibly Kendal when she returns, that we are not changing to a frenzied life of sending out our children in shifts to stay with anyone. This is the first trip of many, but they will be carefully chosen by Bob and I until our children each reach adulthood. Again, we will have to depend upon God to help us discern what activities will be fruitful in their spiritual lives. And ultimately, when we have more teens than children in our house, we will just have to give in to a new season of life, where everyone will not always be home together...

I realize many parents would read this and think we are very extreme and have sheltered too much. However, we maintain confidence in the fact that God chose us to be their parents and therefore we know, or will discover, what is best for our children. We may have made some mistakes along the way, but we believe our family is better off at this point, since we have the privilege of granting new freedoms that are appreciated, rather than taking away poorly chosen ones. We'll be proceeding with great care and prayer!

Here's the link to the article I mentioned above: www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/child-training/parent-child-relations/article-display/archive////cloistered-homeschool-syndrome/?tx_ttnews%5BbackPID%5D=7

Noah Meets Grandma Brenda!

My (Marcella's) mother has been visiting with us since last Friday. We are all enjoying her visit. She was making Noah laugh by raising him in the air, in the photos below.

Darlene (a dear friend of Mom's) and her sister, Verna, are with my mother, and admiring Noah also. We have stayed with Darlene and her husband a couple of times in Abingdon and look forward to spending time with them again, and also Mom and Bill at the cabin in Floyd Co. next month. Noah will be four months tomorrow. He is such a precious gift to our family!

Is it really a good deal?

Have you ever thought you were getting a really good deal on something only to discover at a later date that it wasn't as thrifty as you'd hoped? For example:


We often shop at thrift stores and do not try clothes on before we buy them. At a thrift store there are no returns. We usually come home and say things like, "We bought five skirts and five shirts for the price of one new outfit!" Then after we wash and try the items on, we find out there were tears from the tag/staples put in at the store, or that the some clothes are too tight to be worn modestly. Suddenly our average price per item is rising. These mistakes teach us to shop more wisely next time. And ultimately it is still a better deal than shopping at a real store, but disappointing just the same.


Another common experience is in sewing. We'll find a pattern that we already own and even material that was left-over and start to create an outfit, usually for a little member of our family. Four days later the project is just not what we'd dreamt it would become. Too many adjustment have to be made to compensate for too little fabric. Even if we keep the finished product long enough to take a picture, it just isn't useful after that. On the other hand, sometimes the addition of a little skirt to an unused onesie becomes a beautiful dress.


Recently, we found instructions for making a tiered skirt. You know, the kind that are different, yet coordinating fabrics on four levels. The fabrics used on the example made it look like it would be pretty even without yards and yards of gathered fabric. They used striped fabrics on two layers. That added a gathered effect. It sounded like an inexpensive way to make a nice full skirt. Next, we went to the clearance table of our neigborhood fabric store and started "matching" materials for the levels of four skirts. (BTW, that took me hours because I, Marcella, am color challenged for sure) We're posting some photos today of the finished products.

We concluded that all three of us (Kendal, Kelsey and Marcella) prefer the very full, gathered tiered skirts. So we decided that in the future we'll adjust the pattern from online to suit our tastes. We were able to change around some of the fabric and make Kendal's skirt fuller.

For thirty dollars I had purchased enough fabric to make two nightgowns for little girls, and material for three tiered skirts. That was a great deal! Most of the fabric was $2-3 a yard. My skirt materials were mostly fall colors. So I went back for some last minute summer fabrics. It was so bright and unusual for me that I was concerned I'd never wear it. Thankfully a friend invited us to a Hawaiian theme birthday party that week and I developed a love for the comfort of my new, crazy skirt.

The toughest part is to make a cool, cotton skirt that doesn't require a slip. If you have to wear a nylon slip it just defeats the whole purpose of wearing cool cotton! So I'm going to make a slip of muslin this week!

In the end, I think we'll have two nightgowns and four skirts for about thirty-five dollars! That's not bad at all.


This is Kendal's skirt. Hers has four widths of fabric on the bottom, three on the third tier, two on the second and one on the top.
This is my "summer" skirt. According to the pattern, you can also pull it up to chest level and make it a dress. We didn't include any photos of that! :)
This is Kelsey's skirt. Each of us sewed our own. These were the first projects that the girls had made on their new sewing machine!

Friends are forever

In keeping with tradition, here are some recent photos of our family. Noah is three months! He rarely lets us lay him down when he's awake because he wants to be sitting up!
We were too late in taking the "naked baby" photos, but this one is sweet! He looks huge to me!
Yes, Mary still wants to hold Noah alot! Anna is very good with him too.

This may sound strange but I (Marcella) have collected an assortment of stories about how God has brought someone from my/our past back into our life. The reason that is amazing to me is because when I was growing up we moved every other year, atleast. Often I would attend a school for only one year, then as my grade changed, that would require a move to another school within that city. Once I went from elementary to middle school and in the next city moved from elementary to highschool. The following year I joined other ninth graders who were just attending highschool for the first time. By the time I graduated highschool I had attended nine schools and lived in eight different places that I could remember. After investing in a "letter" jacket at the first of three highschools, I gave up. :)

Because we moved so often I developed a mentality of thinking that "goodbye" was final. There was no email so ultimately I lost contact with nearly every friend from the past. Imagine my shock when one of my fourth grade classmates and I ran into one another in a college dorm hall during our first year. Better yet, my best friend at church in seventh and eight grade, reappeared on my dorm floor that same year. That friend who lived on the same floor in college, has reappeared twice, to my sister through her job at a Virginia lawfirm; the strangest part is that my friend lives in NC. My mother moved back to a town we once lived in and attended a community Bible study, which was attended by another dear friend of mine from church in seventh and eighth grades; she is now a missionary in Brazil with her husband and daughter. We are on their ministry's email list as a result of that one meeting with my mom. Recently, a young man that I attended highschool in Georgia with, showed up here in Tidewater. He is married, has a daughter and is living for the Lord. Bob and I enjoyed a wonderful evening with them last month. We discovered one another on the highschool reunion webpage. About five years ago, we were in a church plant, and on Easter we met a lovely family of seven who was getting ready to move out of our area. The mother and I connected immediately that day, but I thought we'd never see one another again. Imagine my surprise to see her sweet face in a fabric store only one mile from our house a couple years later. They haven't ever moved back to our town, but thankfully, God continues to have our lives intersect. We have seen each other in some very unlikely places including Nagshead!

Why does God do this? It definitely helps me to remember that every interaction I have needs to be God-honoring. I would always want someone to be glad to see me again, or to remember good things from our last meeting.

I also think it's a little taste of heaven. God is truly able to see the beginning from the end. What can feel like a lifetime down here is just a vapor to Him. He is weaving our lives together in a way that we often don't understand. Being reunited with someone who loves the Lord is such a faith-building experience. It's encouraging at the least. And when the Lord brings someone in my path from the past who is not walking with God, I am reminded in a dramatic way, to pray for them. Sometimes I even have the opportunity to speak Truth into their current circumstances.

Now that I've lived in the same area since I was sixteen, with the exception of four years of college, I'm starting to get the message that I must not burn bridges or think that anyone I meet is unimportant. I even had to train myself to be glad that I saw someone I knew when I went out in public. I had become so accustomed to annoniminity that I felt a little crowded if I was recognized. I don't like to admit it, but in social settings I would often purposely direct my attention to those people that I was fairly sure I'd be friends with for a long time. I suppose it was a habit I'd made during my school years since time was always so short. As it turns out, good friends have turned up in some unlikely situations and I was a fool to take anyone for granted.

Our family has been friends with atleast three other families who moved out of the state, even the country, yet we've had the privilege of fellowshipping with them again. We never imagined we'd see them on this side of heaven. What a blessing! I'm always thankful that I took the time to respond to their emails and keep some form of contact going, although it seemed there would be no reason to do so. God has made all of those little efforts worthwhile with every reunion. Every friendship has value. Every person is valuable. Every interaction has significance. I'm starting to get it. Thank you Lord for being patient with me!

Apples

This week has gotten off to a great start!

On Sunday, the Waller family (of thirteen) visited our church and shared their testimony. Read about them at http://www.hayovel.com/. This month they are traveling around the country in their big red bus telling people about their family's work in Israel and how it all began. On the side of their bus it says, "Israel, the apple of God's eye." Sometimes as Christians we ignore the many references to Israel but God commands us to pray for the peace of Israel. Here are a few verses and comments that I copied from the Hayovel site.

Why is the work in Israel important?
Israel holds a special place as a prophetic people. Prophetic means to tell what is going to happen, like a prophet. Through Israel we can see the spiritual climate of the world - it is the center of the world. As time ticks down to the coming of the Messiah, the nations of the world will focus on Israel. Ezekiel 3:5

Why should I care about Israel?
God, the creator, neither slumbers or sleeps concerning Israel. Psalms 121:4 If we want to know our heavenly Father we will look into His eyes. He says that Israel is the apple of His eye, the very center of His eye. Zechariah 2:8 When we look at Israel we can see God. To be disconnected from Israel is to be disconnected from God.

Pray for Peace
Psalm 122:6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love you.

God's Perspective
Zech. 12:9 "It shall be in that day that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem."
Zech. 8:2 "I am very jealous for Zion, I am buring with jealousy for her."
Isaiah 49:14-16 "But Zion has said, 'the Lord has forsaken me, and my Lord has forgotten me.' Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you."
2 Chron. 6:6 "Yet I have chosen Jerusalem, that My name may be there, and I have chosen David to be over My people Israel."
Psalm 132:13-15 "For the lord has chosen Zion; He has desired it for His dwelling place: 'This is My resting place forever; here I will dwell for I have desired it. I will aboundantly bless her provision; I will satisfy her poor with bread.'"

Franklin Springs Media made a video documentary about the Waller family and their transition from city living to rural community life and to Israel. It is beautiful! http://www.franklinsprings.com/films/journeyhome/

We truly enjoyed the Wallers' singing, dancing, speaking and just down-to-earth sharing about Yeshua in their lives. And we will be more faithfully praying for the peace of Israel as a result of their testimony.

We were picking apples this morning. It's not really the season, but they are falling off of the tree in Ms. Ennis' yard and she is moving today. She asked us to pick them since she knew we'd make applesauce with them and otherwise they'd go to waste. (She does not ever want anything to be wasted) We've been trying to help her with this move in various ways, but this was a request that seemed to be for our blessing, rather than hers. That's how she is, always blessing others, even when under the incredible stress of moving out of her house!

It's hard to see the pickers since the branches are so low, but since Kelsey took the time to take pictures, I decided to post them anyhow. This is Joy, Mary, me, Noah, and Anna.
Here are Mary, Joy and Kendal.
Ms.Ennis is a box collector, and has been anticipating a move for over a year, which increased her box saving. The house was packed and the contents were already relocated but she still had some leftover boxes today and couldn't bear to see them wasted. So she asked us to fill the boxes with apples.

This is a small portion of the applesauce that came from Ms. Ennis' apples. The applesauce is easy to make, organic, free, and Kendal and Kelsey are making it together! What more could a mother ask?

Ms. Ennis has been a tremendous blessing to our family over the last fifteen months, therefore her move is very bittersweet. She suspects we will only miss her pool or ironing. But that is very far from the truth.

In April 07 Ms. Ennis hosted the Hendry family and a Shelley Hendry Ladies' meeting that I attended at her house. Ms.Ennis wanted to find a way to bless the Hendrys after they'd returned home, but realized that there were other large families that live much closer whom she could help. When she called me offering to help our family, I only knew her as the mother of my dear friend, Joy. I've never let, or asked, anyone to help me do anything at our house that I can remember. But I had been feeling very overwhelmed and somewhat sad about mothering "all alone" so I had to say "yes." I believe she was God's answer to my prayers.

My mom, who had always lived only 20 minutes from us, had recently moved nearly eight hours away. Our family had no outside activities, except a very small house church on Sundays. And we rarely had any guests in our home. Ms. Ennis' Thursday visits/workdays at our home made all the difference. Suddenly there was another person in our house to see what really happens in our life. She was a constant encouragement in every way. Ms. Ennis loved us all, inspite of the faults she observed from week to week. I never felt condemned, disappointing to her, or judged. I realized that she was truly a Titus 2 "older woman" to me and to the girls in our home.

As I was able to swallow my pride and line up "work" for her, we became more comfortable with each other. Then she offered to teach Kendal and Kelsey to smock. We started sharing lunch, recipes, books, prayer requests and even a new church service for a short time. I loved that Bob's clothes were so neatly ironed each week. When summer came we were able to "relieve" her guilt over having an unused pool, by swimming in it! ha, ha! What more could a mother of seven ask for than a private swimming pool surrounded by beautiful flowers and attended by a gracious lady who helped watch the little ones in the pool?

I'm so thankful to have been on the receiving end of a Titus 2 experience. It is very rare to have multi-generational experiences in daily living. Modern day homeschooolers and mothers of many children do most of their work in isolation, in contrast to their foremothers, who lived in community in rural settings. Alone, we try to do what the women of the past did with their extended family all around. Spiritually speaking it's dangerous. We need accountability. We need someone to tell us that all our hard work is not in vain and that it will reap beautiful fruit one day. If the Lord tarries, I hope my daughters and I will become Titus 2 older women.

Ms. Ennis will ultimately be living very near to one of her daughters and their family of eight. So I cannot be sad that she is moving away from us. It is a dream come true for all of us as we've prayed for the Lord's will in this. Her house sold in four days. That is a miracle. She has collected every orphan book, basket, window, piece of wood, twine, etc. for years; yet she has managed to pack up her whole house and MOVE! That's a miracle!

By the way, a family at our new family worship service, just moved into our neighborhood this week! I mentioned them in a previous post: the Wards have six boys and one girl. They now live one block away! After we picked apples, we went swimming at their house this morning.

God is so good!

Forgiveness

Some of the children thought we should add photos of everyone to the blog since it's usually just Noah's photos. So the following are pictures of Anna (6), Daniel (8), Kelsey (12-until Sept) and Kendal (14). Isaac, Joy and Mary missed out this time.

Forgiveness is a subject that is frequently entering into Bible study, shows we're watching, and thoughtful conversations we're involved in lately. Bob and I read a book called 23 Minutes in Hell after we saw the author on a Christian talk show. Then we watched a documentary called The Lazurus Phenomenon which highlighted the death experiences of several people. Most recently we had dinner with new friends; the husband's brother had an experience of torment during a coma that was attributed to unforgiveness in his life. We think God is very serious about our extension of forgiveness to others. Because we are saved it seems we dangerously think that we can get away with ignoring the rest of the Bible. Our family is beginning to pay much closer attention! Check out these verses:

Matthew 18:32-35 The Story of the Ungrateful Servant

"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed (which was equivalent to millions of dollars by the way).
"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Sometimes it's hard to know for certain if we've forgiven someone, especially if there are repeated offenses, no confessions have been made, and they continue to offend us.

Here are some definitions and descriptions of true forgiveness that have been shared with us recently:

*If you truly forgive someone you will not hold the offense against them. They no longer owe you. You will reject the temptation to recount how they've offended you.

*If you truly forgive someone you can sincerely pray God's richest blessings on their life.

*If you truly forgive someone you can genuinely receive them trying to be in relationship with you, whether they are asking for your forgiveness, or not.

Love is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs (I Cor 13:5). That's the easiest way to deal with forgiveness-not to be so easily offended in the first place.

Since we've been more in tune to the sin of unforgiveness we've noticed that nearly every argument in our home is founded in unforgiveness for previous offenses. That means we walk around almost waiting to be "bumped" by someone with whom we are already angry or defensive towards, and then respond out of the abundance of our heart. This led us to studying how to fill our hearts with the "right stuff" in the first place. As always, it drew us back to being more diligent about filling our hearts and minds with the Word of God. It's not about controlling ourselves, or pushing down an angry emotion, or being forgetful, easy-going people. It's about truly loving God and loving others. And the only way we can do that is to be full of Him and His word!

Be blessed today!

How then should we live?

We're having more opportunities now to catch Noah laughing and smiling!
The recliner in our bedroom is usually a very peaceful place to nurse Noah, but today we were invaded by three giggling little girls who took up residence behind my chair.
Thinking higher...

We've been anticipating the return of Jesus to gather His church (the Rapture) for a long time in our family. My grandmother used to talk to us about it all the time. My mother and I continue to talk regularly about all the signs of the times.

The legacy of my grandmother's enthusiasm for Christ's return lives on in our family. Every one of our children (down to age 4) are mindful of the fact that our lives are only like a vapor in God's plan, and if Jesus does gather us into the clouds as soon as we expect, we won't ever see death. Christians have been waiting for Jesus' return for 2000 years. To some it may seem like a dream that will never happen so they deny it. But, Jesus said he will return just as He left this earth and that we are to be watchful!

That leaves us begging the question of how then should we live? If we knew the exact date was two weeks away, how would we spend that time? What if we knew it was 2 months, or a year away? How should we view long term investments of money, health, or even homeschooling? Our big dreams of selling everything to go around the country spreading the Gospel are interrupted by the reality of being responsible for eight other lives. Certainly the LORD wants us to be faithful in what He has already assigned to us. We don't want to be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good! We wake up each day asking Him to direct our steps and plans because the prospect of not being on this earth much longer really changes our view of what matters.

His answer today was something new: We were reading the website of The Voice of the Martyrs at their link: Persecution.com. There is a page for writing letters of encouragment to prisoners of the faith. The computer offers a long series of phrases and Bible verses that are already translated in the prisioner's language. You choose what to say, translate it, print it and mail it. Amazing! There are also statistics on the sidebar of how many letters have already been sent and other details. Here's the link to the letter writing page: http://www.prisoneralert.com/ There are several tabs on the page where you can choose which prisoner to read about and send mail to. It's less than a dollar to send a letter to China.

We've made many decisions lately that were largely a result of "short-term" thinking. For example, although we've saved baby clothes for the last fourteen years, we're giving Noah's away as soon as he grows out of them. A lady Bob works with, is due in August, with her eighth child, and all her baby stuff burned in a housefire this year. Their family is not saved. Also, our children made a very generous gift of their own money to bless each member of that same family with his own monogrammed towel. All the other things that filled their temporary home were second-hand. This is a gift our children have loved, so they passed on the blessing.

Most recently the children gave their own money to help a missions team to El Salvador. Upon their return, one of the team members shared the story of exactly how our children's money was spent on the El Salvador children. She spoke with tears in her eyes. I'm sure our children will not soon forget it.

Regardless of when He returns, we know the LORD is pleased with generosity and all acts of kindness. If we sacrifice a piece of our future, or our children's future, to bless someone in the present, we're sure the LORD will repay us, if we need it. He always has. It is a prayerful issue, and the LORD loves that too, since He's commanded us to abide in Him daily.

Mary's Photos

When Bob and his brothers were between one and two years old, their mother had them photographed. So she has continued this tradition with our children. O'Neal's studio in Newport News took the Butler boy photos and the first five of ours.

Our family friend, Elizabeth Larum, is learning professional photography. Joy's 16X20 in our dining room was taken by her.

We had the opportunity to go to Nagshead on Thursday (more on that later) and decided to try our hand at capturing Mary's photograph. (our children's photos have been taken between one and three years of age) We've posted our favorite today so that Grandma can see our first choice.

It's amazing what you can do with a digital camera and a computer! Those 16x20's were over $400 in the past. These prints are only $16. Elizabeth knows alot more than we do about photography and Kendal took a class with her last summer. Therefore we have good consultants. Kendal actually took the very photo that we are planning to use. I was a better coach than photographer. (Mary cooperated with my silliness better) We were bribing her with icecream sandwiches.

Happy Father's Day!

Today, Bob, and three other fathers, including our pastor, spoke about fatherhood at church. It was a real blessing to everyone. Our family is fortunate to have such a wonderful dad! We went out for a late lunch at our favorite restaurant, Carrabba's. I wanted photos of Bob and Noah on their first Father's Day together. We also added pictures of everyone else in the family who were still dressed from church. That included all of us except for the three little girls. They had been wearing their matching pink dresses that were photographed in our last blog post.

At church we learned that one of the families just bought a house in our neighborhood and will be moving in at the end of July. We are very excited they'll only be one block away. The Ward family has six boys and one girl. So if we start to spend time together our life will be full of BOYS! Derrick, Karen and their children are wonderful and we look forward to having more opportunities to fellowship with them.


Bob with Noah, Kelsey and Kendal.
Bob with Daniel, Isaac and Noah.
Bob, Noah and me (Mommy).
Noah with his daddy. Noah is seven weeks old now. He's even smiling a little here.