Memorial Day, a day to make new memories too!

We spent the day with four of our favorite families. It was a pool party picnic. There were 10 parents, 36 children (2 not present), and a lot of fun! And our family only had to travel one block away to the Wards' home.

Yes, all these children belong to five fathers!!! What a happy bunch! We've never had a better Memorial Day than this. God is so good to us! The Ward, Shedd, Pollard and Cadet families are blessings in our life!

If you see five 15 passenger vans in front of a home, you can guess there are quite a few children very nearby!!! We were all excited to see our vans parked together. It reminded us how far the Lord has brought us from where we all started nearly 20 years ago! A memorial of sorts. :)
It is a Grand Old Flag and these children know it! (Don't tell them about Obama and all the other current bad news for our country)

Blessed to be a Blessing

Mother's Day is always a nice, encouraging day. The sermon is consistently the good word that I need. This year our pastor reminded us that what we do each day does count for something very important, and that we are blessed with children so that we can return the blessing. He also helped us to remember that everyone is not as blessed and that many women are desperately praying for children, as Hannah was.

Flowers, cards and special meals are good too. I have a gift bag on my closet shelf full of precious cards and plastic jewelry from past years.

Bob and I are blessed to still have both of our mothers, and in good health. I think the best part for me is having our family happily together. Since all of our children are still young and living at home, holidays are so easy to plan.

This year we invited Grandma Butler over for lunch and she even attended church with us. Afterwards, our family went to Busch Gardens. I always enjoy taking a photo in our church clothes to save the memory. You can tell that it's not so important to everyone! :) But, since it's Mother's Day, Grandma Butler and I can insist!

Home Renovations Completed

This past weekend we put the final sets of new shutters on our house. This made our front yard and house refreshment project complete. (well, the front door still needs painting) The flowers are growing so nicely from all the great rain and we are really enjoying the fruit of our labor. We continue to appreciate it all each time we look out the window, go outside or drive up to the house.

Family Fun!

This year we decided to get passes for Busch Gardens. We haven't been to an amusement park since Daniel was one year old. It became so impractical with a family of four little ones. This year is very different with eight children of all ages.

Bob took half a day off of work on Friday and we went to Busch Gardens on both Friday evening and Sunday evening. It wasn't crowded, the lines were very short and the weather was fabulous!
It's so much fun to see everyone excited about the rides. Even the Mary enjoys her kiddie rides! Not everyone is tall enough for the scariest rollercoasters, nor does everyone want to ride them. We have a nice mix of ages and levels of bravery.

The Griffon is the newest, and by far, the most intimidating rollercoaster. Bob rode it on Friday night. Before the summer is over more Butlers will give in. For now, Apollo's Chariot, The Big Bad Wolf, and the Loch Ness Monster are sufficient thrills. On our next trip we'll try the Alpengeist...more hills, twists and screams!

We're going to try to get our money's worth before public schools get out for the summer and before it gets too hot. We have a few more trips planned for May. Frankie Avalon, the Oak Ridge Boys, and the Lettermen are all coming in concert there. Who knew they were still performing?

We strategically eat before and after the park. Who can afford that food? A soft pretzel is FOUR dollars!

The gardens are beautiful! There are new shows and animals, so as the novelty of the rides wears off, we'll take in a few of those too!

Even at Busch Gardens folks are counting us! Being a large family is always an adventure! We have both a front and rear guard when we walk from one ride to another. :) So much fun!

It's very difficult to get action shots, so we have just a few to share. The following are the Roman Rapids. Kelsey and Anna are in one "boat" and Bob, Kendal, Isaac, Daniel and Joy are in the other. They waited to ride this last. They were soaked and quite cold on Sunday night.
Kelsey and Anna
Mary, Anna and Joy on the children's version of Tradewinds.
Daniel and Isaac.

I just have a feeling

Communication has certainly been the largest obstacle in our marriage. Men and women just communicate differently. In fact, most people do not communicate similarly, therefore, many conflicts arise.



Neither of us have been "super spiritual" in our conversations with one another. We haven't pulled the "God card" as some call it. We didn't grow up in homes where people say things like, "the Lord told me such and such". So, we've never used spirituality to attempt to manipulate one another or win an argument. This has been interesting since we have both matured significantly in the Lord since our wedding day. We are walking more often in the Spirit and therefore at times we do sense that the Lord is leading us in one direction or another. We're making progress in communicating this to one another.



A few years ago acquaintances of ours were planning to start their own church. We had just left our church (of 12 years) and were excited to join the other couple in their efforts. Well, I was excited. My husband had some hesitation to commit. He didn't vocalize his concern in a specific way so I thought he was feeling intimidated by the thought of being part of the new church's leadership. In short, it was a mistake. The other couple had some anger issues and those issues caused some mistakes to be made during the very early days of the new church. Ultimately the church disbanded at the end of a year.

Country party

It was our pleasure to be invited to the graduation party of Elliot, the eldest son of our friends, the Alexanders. It was a square dancing picnic in beautiful Amelia, Va. at a plantation house. This past Saturday holds fond memories for our family. We reunited with many friends whom we share with the Alexanders and we met new friends too. Tim and Joy have paved the way as their children reach milestones and they graciously choose to share them with their friends and testify of God's blessings to them.
Joy and Tim spoke about Elliot after the meal. They have many reasons to be pleased with how Elliot has grown into a young man. What a blessing! A wise and godly son truly does make his father and mother glad!

Daniel, Daniel, Matthew and Elliot are a joy to be with. Our entire family

enjoyed their company throughout the day. Their parents are to be commended for raising such fine fellows! Elliot and Morgan were partners for the first dance. They are both eighteen and run a large part of their parents' farming businesses. Kendal danced with Bob while the rest of our family watched. I think our boys were playing cowboys all day though. Later, Daniel said, "I was looking for a girl to dance with, but I didn't find one that I wanted so I didn't dance." ha, ha! Only nine years old and already he's choosy! Sadly, we hadn't suggested that he and Anna dance. They would've been perfect together!
It was fun to watch and take pictures too. We have enjoyed Scott and Alison's friendship and examples of godly parenting for over ten years! They are becoming "famous" as they have been featured many times in our local paper, on tv and in a Franklin Springs Media movie for their family farming business.

Daniel, Bob, Elliot, and Isaac gathered for this photo on the side of the plantation house.
Lynne Heffington and I both have our miracle girls. Our Mary and her Grace were both threatened during their pregnancies. It is a joy to see them together at last!

Oliver (Elliot's fifteen year old brother) kindly asked Kendal to dance. She really loved square dancing and had danced with her dad earlier. She was eager to continue practicing her new skills.

Kendal and Rachel Heffington danced this time with folks they didn't know. Everyone had fun!

The Ladies had their own Virginia Reel. This time they all had a turn, no boy partners required.
Towards the end of the party, men and ladies began to sit down to chat. This is Elliot, Bob with Mary, Scott, and Tim (Elliot's dad). Sam Taylor (standing) was a very kind, young man that we met at the party for the first time. He had come with his brother, and sister with some friends.

Gabe looks so sweet- in training at his daddy's feet! It was the end of a wonderful day.

Happy First Birthday, Noah!

Yesterday was Noah's first birthday! We started celebrating on Thursday, when Grandma Butler brought two gifts over. During the weekend, we visited my sister, Carrie, and Brian. Noah enjoyed a yummy birthday unch then he opened his gifts. He met Grandad Thurmann (my dad) and Susan too.
It's hard to believe that he is already ONE!!! Babies grow so quickly!

Noah is enjoying his new Tonka truck from Grandma Butler.
This card is from Grandma Brenda and Grandad Bill. Aunt Carrie bought this very yummy cake!
It didn't take long for Noah to figure out that there were fun toys in this bag.
Not everyone looks good in a party hat, but Noah and his three closest sisters do!
Noah's playing with one of his new cars while having his picture taken with Carrie and Brian.

A reason to be thankful for the struggles

Recently I had the privilege of visiting with a young lady who is considering marriage. I was honored to be invited into her life and to hear her heart. It was a thought provoking and intense couple of hours that we spent together. For the first time I was thankful for the difficulties that we have had in our marriage.

I was able to easily think of specific mistakes I had made, and sometimes continue to make, with my husband. I quickly thought of examples of times that we'd had problems communicating. Our problems became a source of relief and wisdom for her.

Her suitor is a friend of ours. Apparently our marriage looks really calm and ideal from the outside to him. This is not helping him to navigate the early days of a serious relationship. We look forward to sharing the truth with him. We hope it will dispel the myth of "the perfect Christian marriage".

God used a book

The most recent neat "wife" lesson involved a book. My husband has never been an avid reader. He has preferred movies throughout his life. We own hundreds of books. The ones about marriage and parenting have all been read- by me. Occasionally, he would suffer through a book that I begged him to read. Finally we learned that books on CD are better for him. He has made great use of his travel time this way. Over the last couple of years, he has read books that other men have given him. (That is a HUGE clue. Note to self: other men can encourage my husband more effectively than I can sometimes.) I think he has even started to enjoy reading recently.

Last week he brought home a copy of "The Shack". It is a Christian novel and has sold millions of copies. He began to read it avidly. In every spare moment he read that book. Early in the morning and late in the evening he was reading. This was such strange behavior for him, so I became very curious about his motivation.

The conversation went something like this:
Who gave you that book? Answer: my boss. (She's an unmarried lady who lives and works in another state)
Question 2: Why? Answer: I guess she thought I would enjoy it.
Long pause...He's still reading...I'm wondering how to ask this hard question:
So, I'm just wondering why, after all the begging and pleading I've done over the years to get you to read a book for our family's benefit, why someone at work can have such influence?...His reply: Oh. Yeah. I can see why you are a little annoyed about that.

Later, I did confess that I was trying to not be offended that this novel from his boss was consuming his free time. I did learn that she was coming to town in a few days and he hoped to give it back to her then rather than mailing it. I made a couple more (unnecessary) comments over the long weekend and he continued to read and finally finish the book. In the meantime...

One morning he asked me to read a chapter that he had just finished. It was about men and women and how they allow other priorities to prevail over their relationship with Christ. That was a surprising insight into his new favorite book. I was happy to finally be part of the process and to see that the book he was reading had real substance.

Another morning, before work he asked if I would forgive him for all the times over the years that he had not been totally honest with me. He had not been unfaithful in any manner. He was referring to the sly, covert responses to questions, the half-truths, etc. He is not a dishonest person. I had just been a demanding wife, to the point that he had developed some habits of hiding some answers that he knew I wouldn't like. Mostly, they were questions and answers about how much time he'd spent on the computer, or watching tv.

His confession and apology came as a shock and a huge relief. I had been hurt so many times by his semi-honest explanantions. I knew somehow that I had probably encouraged it, but just the same, I hate dishonesty. I was thankful that he had realized that I needed to forgive him. I thanked him and forgave him.

Then he said that something he'd read in "The Shack" had caused him to realize that he needed to ask me for forgiveness for not being totally honest. Wow! I have prayed so many times for his integrity. Yet, if I had nagged him about that book until he gave it up, he might have never come to the conclusion that I had been praying for!

Today, I asked him what was in the novel that caused him to think about honesty. He said there was nothing. It was a section about forgiveness. He didn't want me to be living in unforgiveness simply because he hadn't asked for it. That was shock Number Two. He did it for my benefit, not his! What a generous husband I have!

God does answer godly prayers: those that are in line with His word. But I am forever amazed at HOW God chooses to answer my prayers! I was thankful, this time, that my husband did not give into my desire for him to put down that book. My jealousy nearly ruined a work that God was going to do in our marriage. My husband continued strong, and God rewarded us both!

A new beginning

I've been dreaming of a place to record the sweet little "ah ha" moments in my marriage. For years I tried to journal on paper. With the birth of more and more babies, my time to think clearly and write faded. By recording these lesson in a blog, my hope is that I can encourage other wives who are wondering, like me, how they can be the excellent wife of Proverbs 31 and Titus 2.

I'll be taking the risk of revealing my own weaknesses and flaws each time I learn and share a sweet lesson. That's ok. I already know that I have a lot to learn.