It seems like a very long time since the last entry because so much happened yesterday. I'm torn between writing it all down and telling an interesting story. I'm chosing to document my thoughts and experiences. I'm trusting God for a great story.
Today I'm at home in the final hours of the 24 hour Holter cardiac monitor. Even in the middle of the night I felt nervous and know this greatly affects my typically abnormal heart rythyms. I don't know the reason for the nervousness but it has continued this morning and is affecting my whole body.
Yesterday, I did have the mineral IV. Unfortunately, I don't feel any different this morning. My pulse is still 52.
Although my medical doctor had not given me any report from last Friday's thyroid panel and etc. he had already scheduled more blood to be drawn when I arrived for the Holter yesterday. That was frustrating to me since I wasn't expecting to be taken to the lab and wondered if the results would be skewed because of the IV fluids. I was forced to tell him that I'd had the IV, which I'd previously decided wasn't important to share since I was certain he wouldn't agree with my chiropractor's decision. I was right. He thought dehydration was a silly concern and the IV was unwarranted. Although my lab results do rightly point to the possibility. There are many possibilities, and that's why it's so easy for practitioners to disagree. I had a questionably high potassium, yet I was given a potassium tablet with my IV at the other medical doctor's office. That was the start of the "train wreck" I was involved in for the remainder of the day. My medical doctor and the more naturally oriented medical doctor whose office gave the IV were destined to talk with one another.
My medical doctor and I had a short discussion about why my chiropractor sends her patients to him. The truth is ugly, but it took me most of the day to realize it. In Virginia chiropractors can order laboratory tests but most insurances will not pay for them. It presents a problem if a patient is sent to a medical doctor with some ideas in their head about what might be wrong and even specific recommendations for labs to be drawn and ultimately covered by insurance. When the results come in the patient chooses to be treated by the chiropractor's techniques leaving the doctor, if he knows it, feeling used and ignored. Yuck! If he's arrogant or very concerned for his patient's health, he's going to respond negatively. My doctor was level-headed, honest and concerned.
I communicated the entire scenario to my chiropractor and encouraged her to seek a peaceful solution. She was very concerned, and determined to attempt to make things better. Either the two of them will agree to work together, or my chiropractor's patients will have to pay for their labs. That means that most will not have the labs performed, therefore missing important medical information.
In the best interest of patients a collaborative effort must be implemented. But how? They do not agree. How can they? Their training barely overlaps. They are unaware of the common ground they share. Generally a medical doctor will refute every idea of the chiroprator/functional medicine doctor.
I was suspicious that this confrontation would ultimately happen. I am praying for wisdom about how to be a mediator as I walk through my medical cardiac investigation. I think I owe my doctor an apology for not considering his feelings on my "two-timing" approach. However, I plan to continue to listen to both professionals' advice, so saying anything could make my doctor release me from his care. Afterall that's what one of those forms I signed on the clipboard said: that I will follow his treatment plan. I hand wrote a note there saying I would follow as we discussed his plan, but he wouldn't have noticed it. He only looks at the computerized version of my chart.
On a more personal note, my medical doctor conducted a 12 lead EKG in his office showing PVCs, bigemeny in fact. I've seen all that before. I was having both in college when I started to investigate my heart initially. The print out from the computer was disturbing though. It had listed (for the doctor's consideration) many cardiac problems...scary ones. I'm not even going to look them up. Afterall it said at the top of the sheet that a doctor should make the determination of a diagnosis not the computer. After seeing it, my doctor concluded that he would be sending me to a cardiologist. I've seen two before. One around my twentieth year, and another around my thirtieth year. I'll be forty in November. Maybe it's just time for my trip to a cardiologist. The last two times they assured me that I was ok, could take a cardiac med to make me feel better, but it wasn't entirely necessary, Of course, I never took a cardiac drug. I wonder if I'll be so fortunate this time.
This morning, I looked at Joshua and wondered if I will live to see him grow up. I questioned whether that was a wise thought from the Lord to sober me up or a condemning thought from the enemy to scare me. I decided to make sure that I do everything that I can to increase the possibility that I will be here for him. Looking into those beautiful baby blues and then being struck with the realization that my "job" of mothering him includes the next twenty years, not just one or two, encouraged me not to fight every medical test or recommendation that I'm encountering.
I felt sorry for myself while being stuck for the third time in four days yesterday. Later, I remembered I'll be stuck atleast once more tomorrow for the echocardiogram. I can't feel bad for more than a couple of seconds, because I am too familiar with the thousands of reasons that millions of people are being stuck by needles these days. I am fortunate. But I always knew I didn't want to be in the company of those needing "medicine".
That thought leads me back to God. Even my medical doctor, during a personal, not professional conversation, last week reminded me that Jesus is a man of sorrows and we are to expect to share in His sufferings. He and I agreed none of us like that part of Christianity. (He wasn't talking about me, but how my stepfather has fought cancer this year) Our life has been so full of blessings and we have always given God the glory for it. Looking around at the lives of others has caused me to wonder when would it be our turn to suffer too.
When Isaac (our third) was born with problems and required a full year of intensive care at home, we "suffered" some. It didn't feel like it since we were fighting for him all the way. We drew close to God and He to us. It was a spiritual mountain top experience. But we would not have chosen it and do not care to repeat it. Honestly, I suppose we are all afraid of having to suffer, be sad, sick or possibly leave or lose our loved ones. For these fears there is the mighty Word of God. Praise the Lord! I'll be focusing there more intently this week. I'll have to.
While I've been writing this my nervousness has disappeared. I feel good. I am thankful.
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