Country party

It was our pleasure to be invited to the graduation party of Elliot, the eldest son of our friends, the Alexanders. It was a square dancing picnic in beautiful Amelia, Va. at a plantation house. This past Saturday holds fond memories for our family. We reunited with many friends whom we share with the Alexanders and we met new friends too. Tim and Joy have paved the way as their children reach milestones and they graciously choose to share them with their friends and testify of God's blessings to them.
Joy and Tim spoke about Elliot after the meal. They have many reasons to be pleased with how Elliot has grown into a young man. What a blessing! A wise and godly son truly does make his father and mother glad!

Daniel, Daniel, Matthew and Elliot are a joy to be with. Our entire family

enjoyed their company throughout the day. Their parents are to be commended for raising such fine fellows! Elliot and Morgan were partners for the first dance. They are both eighteen and run a large part of their parents' farming businesses. Kendal danced with Bob while the rest of our family watched. I think our boys were playing cowboys all day though. Later, Daniel said, "I was looking for a girl to dance with, but I didn't find one that I wanted so I didn't dance." ha, ha! Only nine years old and already he's choosy! Sadly, we hadn't suggested that he and Anna dance. They would've been perfect together!
It was fun to watch and take pictures too. We have enjoyed Scott and Alison's friendship and examples of godly parenting for over ten years! They are becoming "famous" as they have been featured many times in our local paper, on tv and in a Franklin Springs Media movie for their family farming business.

Daniel, Bob, Elliot, and Isaac gathered for this photo on the side of the plantation house.
Lynne Heffington and I both have our miracle girls. Our Mary and her Grace were both threatened during their pregnancies. It is a joy to see them together at last!

Oliver (Elliot's fifteen year old brother) kindly asked Kendal to dance. She really loved square dancing and had danced with her dad earlier. She was eager to continue practicing her new skills.

Kendal and Rachel Heffington danced this time with folks they didn't know. Everyone had fun!

The Ladies had their own Virginia Reel. This time they all had a turn, no boy partners required.
Towards the end of the party, men and ladies began to sit down to chat. This is Elliot, Bob with Mary, Scott, and Tim (Elliot's dad). Sam Taylor (standing) was a very kind, young man that we met at the party for the first time. He had come with his brother, and sister with some friends.

Gabe looks so sweet- in training at his daddy's feet! It was the end of a wonderful day.

Happy First Birthday, Noah!

Yesterday was Noah's first birthday! We started celebrating on Thursday, when Grandma Butler brought two gifts over. During the weekend, we visited my sister, Carrie, and Brian. Noah enjoyed a yummy birthday unch then he opened his gifts. He met Grandad Thurmann (my dad) and Susan too.
It's hard to believe that he is already ONE!!! Babies grow so quickly!

Noah is enjoying his new Tonka truck from Grandma Butler.
This card is from Grandma Brenda and Grandad Bill. Aunt Carrie bought this very yummy cake!
It didn't take long for Noah to figure out that there were fun toys in this bag.
Not everyone looks good in a party hat, but Noah and his three closest sisters do!
Noah's playing with one of his new cars while having his picture taken with Carrie and Brian.

A reason to be thankful for the struggles

Recently I had the privilege of visiting with a young lady who is considering marriage. I was honored to be invited into her life and to hear her heart. It was a thought provoking and intense couple of hours that we spent together. For the first time I was thankful for the difficulties that we have had in our marriage.

I was able to easily think of specific mistakes I had made, and sometimes continue to make, with my husband. I quickly thought of examples of times that we'd had problems communicating. Our problems became a source of relief and wisdom for her.

Her suitor is a friend of ours. Apparently our marriage looks really calm and ideal from the outside to him. This is not helping him to navigate the early days of a serious relationship. We look forward to sharing the truth with him. We hope it will dispel the myth of "the perfect Christian marriage".

God used a book

The most recent neat "wife" lesson involved a book. My husband has never been an avid reader. He has preferred movies throughout his life. We own hundreds of books. The ones about marriage and parenting have all been read- by me. Occasionally, he would suffer through a book that I begged him to read. Finally we learned that books on CD are better for him. He has made great use of his travel time this way. Over the last couple of years, he has read books that other men have given him. (That is a HUGE clue. Note to self: other men can encourage my husband more effectively than I can sometimes.) I think he has even started to enjoy reading recently.

Last week he brought home a copy of "The Shack". It is a Christian novel and has sold millions of copies. He began to read it avidly. In every spare moment he read that book. Early in the morning and late in the evening he was reading. This was such strange behavior for him, so I became very curious about his motivation.

The conversation went something like this:
Who gave you that book? Answer: my boss. (She's an unmarried lady who lives and works in another state)
Question 2: Why? Answer: I guess she thought I would enjoy it.
Long pause...He's still reading...I'm wondering how to ask this hard question:
So, I'm just wondering why, after all the begging and pleading I've done over the years to get you to read a book for our family's benefit, why someone at work can have such influence?...His reply: Oh. Yeah. I can see why you are a little annoyed about that.

Later, I did confess that I was trying to not be offended that this novel from his boss was consuming his free time. I did learn that she was coming to town in a few days and he hoped to give it back to her then rather than mailing it. I made a couple more (unnecessary) comments over the long weekend and he continued to read and finally finish the book. In the meantime...

One morning he asked me to read a chapter that he had just finished. It was about men and women and how they allow other priorities to prevail over their relationship with Christ. That was a surprising insight into his new favorite book. I was happy to finally be part of the process and to see that the book he was reading had real substance.

Another morning, before work he asked if I would forgive him for all the times over the years that he had not been totally honest with me. He had not been unfaithful in any manner. He was referring to the sly, covert responses to questions, the half-truths, etc. He is not a dishonest person. I had just been a demanding wife, to the point that he had developed some habits of hiding some answers that he knew I wouldn't like. Mostly, they were questions and answers about how much time he'd spent on the computer, or watching tv.

His confession and apology came as a shock and a huge relief. I had been hurt so many times by his semi-honest explanantions. I knew somehow that I had probably encouraged it, but just the same, I hate dishonesty. I was thankful that he had realized that I needed to forgive him. I thanked him and forgave him.

Then he said that something he'd read in "The Shack" had caused him to realize that he needed to ask me for forgiveness for not being totally honest. Wow! I have prayed so many times for his integrity. Yet, if I had nagged him about that book until he gave it up, he might have never come to the conclusion that I had been praying for!

Today, I asked him what was in the novel that caused him to think about honesty. He said there was nothing. It was a section about forgiveness. He didn't want me to be living in unforgiveness simply because he hadn't asked for it. That was shock Number Two. He did it for my benefit, not his! What a generous husband I have!

God does answer godly prayers: those that are in line with His word. But I am forever amazed at HOW God chooses to answer my prayers! I was thankful, this time, that my husband did not give into my desire for him to put down that book. My jealousy nearly ruined a work that God was going to do in our marriage. My husband continued strong, and God rewarded us both!

A new beginning

I've been dreaming of a place to record the sweet little "ah ha" moments in my marriage. For years I tried to journal on paper. With the birth of more and more babies, my time to think clearly and write faded. By recording these lesson in a blog, my hope is that I can encourage other wives who are wondering, like me, how they can be the excellent wife of Proverbs 31 and Titus 2.

I'll be taking the risk of revealing my own weaknesses and flaws each time I learn and share a sweet lesson. That's ok. I already know that I have a lot to learn.

Home improvements galore!

Our home is nearly twenty-five years old. We bought it six years ago. It was initially in need of a roof, new fence, furnace, air conditioner, bathroom flooring, and kitchen flooring. Due to moisture damage we also invested a huge chunk to clean up and close our crawl space with a dehumidifier. (It worked!) Those were expenses that we had no choice about.

Thankfully, we have recently entered a season of being able to choose what we repair or replace.

Since December, we've replaced the siding (small amounts, on the ends of the otherwise brick, house), some carpenter bee-infested trim, two french doors, the garage door and fifteen of the twenty windows! Of course, trimming the windows in a new color changed the color scheme of the whole house. One thing always leads to another. So, in the last two days we've painted, torn out all the old bushes, shoveled in new dirt and compost, and tilled two gardens and two flower beds.

It's so much fun to work together outside! There is practically no down-side to hours of hard, family labor. It does make the indoors quite a disaster since no one wants to be inside preparing food and cleaning up while all the excitement is outdoors! Thankfully it doesn't take too long to get the dirt off the floor, clean up a neglected kitchen, bathe everyone and wash ten sets of mud-ladden clothes! We do not know how our farming friends do this everyday though!

Our house looks so much better now. It is also more energy efficient, safer, cleaner, and easier to keep cool by opening windows that were previously jammed!

We had six cubic yards of topsoil/compost dumped in our driveway and three of mulch. So we took that opportunity to let the children ride their bikes over the "hills". What fun they had! It was the highlight of the weekend for the boys. It was a great reward for two full days of hard work.

Kendal, Kelsey, Isaac and Daniel worked very hard to dig up the old bushes on Thursday. I was painting while they worked. All day. When Bob came home he rewarded us all with dinner out at our new Cracker Barrel. Everyone was glad to have Bob's help on Friday since there was more than twice as much work left to do.


Noah is very hungry in this photo. I'm on the ladder trying to finish painting the last bit of trim. Anna was a good sport.