How Do You Do It?

When people learn that we have nine children they often ask that question, or they will say that I must be a saint, or have endless amounts of patience, or a very helpful husband or very well-behaved children. It's funny. No one suggests that it might just be hard work or a supernatural mystery.

I do my best to give God the glory on every occasion. Afterall, I know that I wouldn't even entertain the idea of having many children were it not for the inspiration of His Holy Spirit and the conviction by His Word. Likewise, there are those days that I am acutely aware that each breath is coming from Him, every smile toward a little one, and each kind word too. However, it is so difficult to encapsulate seventeen years of striving to be a godly parent in a one minute conversation with a stranger. I always pray that whatever words leave my mouth are from Him. And I have to remind myself to rest in the answers when the conversation is over. There's no replay nor do-over.

As the family grows and the days are harder I ask myself how I will "do it" today, this week or this year. I've even said that I cannot "do it" anymore. I've threatened to quit "doing it". At some point between baby 5 and baby 6 I realized that I couldn't keep doing many things. We changed from a busy, age-segregated church to a family friendly one. I ceased leading the homeschool group. Ladies' bible study ended. Home businesses fell to the wayside. The organic produce food co-op was cancelled. Perfectly clean carpet, floors, windows and bathrooms became a faint memory. I turned over nearly all of my household duties to various semi-capable, energetic children, and that meant letting go of my high standards that I had for myself.

Even after "quitting" many busy activities, I still found myself overwhelmed and feeling unable to "do it". I longed for the days when I felt as if it were all under control. I loved doing the yardwork, painting, building,...ultimately doing the wife and husband roles, except for earning the majority of the money. Outdoor jobs are much more rewarding than indoor jobs. Generally the results last longer outdoors. Laundry and dishes can be the most depressing duties since there is no end. A nicely manicured lawn can be enjoyed for atleast a week. And a clean coat of paint will be adored for years. No one hardly notices that all the clothing is reorganized, labeled, and boxed for another year in the attic or closet. It can be discouraging to be a mother.

I have a vague memory of realizing about five years ago that in the earliest years of parenting I had done a very good job and probably lived entirely on youthful zeal. I know the Lord was with me. But I didn't remember really depending on Him while my energy was high and I could still "do it" all. I concluded that it was a good thing to come to the end of myself since I knew that would be the start of truly resting in Him. I did commit to read my Bible every possible morning and then teach it to the children after breakfast. I had to remind myself that it would be okay if that was all I accomplished. With all the pressure to do more lifted off of me, those days tended to be our best ones.

Since our ninth baby has come I've experienced yet another version of "I can't do it" anymore. I suppose it could be a combination of my increasing age and need for more sleep. However I have noticed that my zeal needs recharging more often than ever before. Something about a good argument, or constantly having to defend one's lifestyle to fellow church-goers or family members keeps one passionate. I get along beautifully with my husband when we are fighting the "bad guys" together. When attacks come we dig into the Word, and we are strengthened. I think this is the key. We pray for peace and dread the criticism but the battles keep us lively and fresh. Now I will not be asking for attacks on our life. But I will try to remember to be the cheerleader in our home who reminds all the members of our calling. I've recently reminded them that I need their encouragment. We're working on a more formal version of our family vision. I am blessed by my husband's growing desire to lead his flock to the Lord. This is a sweet and crucial time in our family and I want to be "in the game" not whinning on the sidelines.

I have been reminded to pray for my friends who may be dealing with the same temptation to grow weary in well doing. This is good. We will support one another as the Body of Christ should.

We sang some older songs tonight during family worship. It was a sweet time. All the youngest children were seated on the floor in front of their father and me. We sang without any music. One song in particular struck my heart. The words are so foundational. I think I remember it from one of Micheal W. Smith's albums:

God you are my God and I will ever praise you.
I will seek you in the morning and I will learn to walk in your ways.
Step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days.

As their little voices sang "I will follow you all of my days" I realized that is our family vision! And that is how we will keep "doing it". We will seek Him in the morning and He will teach us how to walk in His ways. He will lead us step by step, as He always has. And as a result, we will follow Him all of our days! Halleluiah!

Joshua is so sweet...

that if he wasn't a person I would eat him!!!

as spoken by his big brother, Isaac

Happy Fourth Month Birthday, Joshua!!!

October!

Time is flying by...it's has been a month since I've even thought of blogging. Looking back at that last entry reminds me of how important it is to keep blogging since my handwritten journal has taken a back seat. I love our family memories and really want to preserve them!


We have just returned from a week of family vacation in the mountains. It was our fifth trip to the cabin in the woods. Our gracious hosts, their daughter and family and my mother joined us at the cabin for a portion of the week. We enjoyed hikes, four-wheeling, boating and picking apples and grapes. The leaves were just beginning to change and the weather was very chilly. Thankfully, we left the rain at home.

We always try to take a family photo while in the mountains. This one was for fun with some of our guns (not loaded of course!). We usually shoot targets a couple of times while we are there. The trees behind us changed colors while we were staying on the property. It was stunning!

Before a hike up the mountain we stopped to get a shot of the older eight children. They were laughing and having so much fun. It made a sweet photo.

Tonight we made jam from the hard-to-get grapes. It was alot of work for those four pints of jam!!! The deer and other animals had already eaten the grapes near the ground. We had to climb and use long branches to knock ours down. That made it more fun!

We were thankful that Mom was able to be with us and especially to meet Baby Joshua. Unfortunately, my stepfather, Bill, was not feeling well enough to join us. He is still recovering from surgery related to colorectal cancer. Hopefully, Bill will regain his comfort and strength and we will be able to visit with him soon!

We also enjoyed a couple of visits with my father. He lives very near the cabin. It is nice to spend part of a day with him and be able to return to our "home base" at the cabin. We hope to see more of him this year too.

On the way home we stayed with my sister, Carrie, and Brian. It is always great to be with them. We look forward to seeing them for Thanksgiving at our house this year and again in December when we attend a wedding near Richmond.

Our baby will be four months tomorrow. He is so very precious. He has lost nearly every newborn hair and it has been replaced with fuzzy blonde hairs that currently stand straight up. He reminds us of a chick. Joshua's sleeping and eating patterns have normalized and we are somewhat settled into a routine. This is nice since I'm needing more sleep these days than when I first became a mother.

A wise friend of mine discovered, and shared with me, that she needed to keep her toddler with her during the school day. I have reaffirmed that discovery with Noah. I kept assigning him to different siblings and he was becoming more and more loud and discontent each day. Recently, I've started to keep him "at my feet" during the earliest hours of homeschool each day. He minds well and is starting to enjoy the time. He really needed some boundaries and his siblings and playpen were not the right solutions. Hopefully, I can train him to be more content while playing out of my sight too.

It is worth noting that while we were on vacation Noah proved that he is POTTY TRAINED!!! Bob was very faithful to keep up with Noah's trips to the bathroom and therefore, he did not have any accidents! This has been a long time coming and we are going to make the brave transition to cotton pants very soon.

We were glad to return to church this past Sunday. Some of us had missed three weeks! That felt like forever. I have enjoyed getting to know a few of the ladies in our congregation much better over the last couple of months. I've even had a couple of "mommy dates" at the smoothie shop. Friends make life much richer! It is a blessing to have many Christian friends who are transparent, humble and willing to share how they "do" life. The advice and sharing that happens between friends often serves as a lifeline from the Lord. He is so faithful to speak through others to me. I also appreciate my husband's encouragement to make the effort to get out sometimes just to visit with another mom.

I really cherish the nighttime and early morning feedings with Joshua. They are precious moments of nursing, snuggling and praying. My mind is so clear with the house quiet. During the day I can forget to pray for those I love, but in the dark, my heart is flooded with prayers. It is truly precious time. And I'm counting on Christ to answer my prayers for my loved ones.

Life can feel crazy, but ours truly is good! And God is always good!