New School Year

I'm not certain why I am up when everyone else is in bed, except that I have missed having time to read and write about life lately. It is therapeutic. I am regretting that I haven't recorded all the neat things that are happening this summer. I've just skimmed through the last few months of blogging and as usual I had forgotten some great things that God has been doing in our life and how much He encouraged me along the way!

I want to be certain not to ever lose hope. I was reminded on Sunday that "hope deferred makes the heart sick". That's the last thing I need- more heart sickness. So I am making a point to not get to that yucky place of feeling hopeless. It's always temporary but to be expected with so much responsibility and my own high expectations of myself!

Lately I have been appreciating the detailed differences in my children's personalities. God has given each of them gifts that are theirs alone and quite naturally. I am also trying to not be frustrated with the ones who are not naturally gifted in areas that help the family most. To be clear, some are great problem solvers, while others are voluntarily entertaining to little ones, and others enjoy running errands and so forth. Apprecitating them all, all the time challenges me greatly. Since I'm the mom, I feel compelled to train them all to be very thoughtful and therefore service oriented towards others. Sadly, this selflessness comes more easily to some than others. I was not a selfless teen. But I was different from my own teens in good ways and bad. It is the kindness of God that draws us to repentance and the mercy He has extended to me that I am to show to others. So I am trying to be wise and patient as I counsel and live with my maturing children. For the first time in my parenting I am unsure of how much to require of them. I make many "wise suggestions" but at what point should I command them if they are making poor choices. Since they are maturing at nine different levels, while my husband and I are maturing at different paces too, it's tough! Grace is the requirement. We are going to learn how to get along and be fruitful! I just hope it is very soon! We've been focusing on the blessings several evenings a week as a family. This is a great addition to all the correcting we're doing. I hope it helps to tie heart strings among us all.

Yes, the school year is starting. The new books are on the shelf. This year I have SEVEN students!!! They range from kindergarten to highschool senior! Wow! Just managing all of our books without buying more shelves is very difficult. Three of my students will be needing a lot more help than I have been giving in recent years. That scares me, since I have an infant to nurse and a TWO year old boy! So we are working our way gradually into the new materials, especially with my most challenged thirteen year old who is in second grade. He always thrives under patient daily instruction. I have to be sure to give him that!

In some areas I'd like to improve over last year and in others I'll just have to find more efficient ways to accomplish the tasks. Record keeping is very challenging. We are under the religious exemption law, but we have an agreement with HSLDA that we will keep a record of our activities that is reproducible. I cannot seem to get all those assignments for every subject and every child written in that record book! I've resorted to asking the children to date every page in their workbooks and trying to catch up at various points during the year. At the same time, my older ones keep asking why I have those record books with each page they've worked documented for every school day. I do not know! I gave the IOWA test to the top four students and that should serve as some evidence for their progress. Does that mean I can throw away the workbooks and just write in the record book that they completed the books they started??? I hope so.

Homeschooling materials can be found in unlikely places. I read an article in Reader's Digest this week that could possibly replace nearly a year of grammar. (although I'm still teaching English to all the children) It is about very common vocabulary and grammar errors. I'm going to ask my highschoolers to read the article and I might cut it out and try to save it somewhere important. Honestly, that means I'll come across it when I'm not looking for it and never be able to find it when I need it...oh well.

I haven't read a Reader's Digest since I left home. I couldn't resist this "humor"issue in the grocery check out. The children read every page of every magazine that comes into our house. Therefore, we are very selective! I read the Digest while nursing or burping Joshua. Then Kelsey read it while holding or rocking him. Yesterday Kendal was holding Joshua on the couch and he was fussing a little. I told her that he was cranky because she was reading that Reader's Digest that he'd already read twice before with me and Kelsey. : )

Well that was only one of the sweet, funny things that happened lately. It's too bad that I've forgotten most of the precious things the children have said that I really wanted to write down...I hope someone in heaven is responsible for keeping such a record for forgetful moms like me. I'd like to go back and read them all one day in eternity.

Our God is so Good!

Sometimes Christians say to one another: "God is good all the time." and reply, "All the time, God is good."

I've been pondering God's goodness lately.

As I am reading through the Psalms in my quiet time I am noticing how often the author comments on God's goodness. This morning I read:

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee." Psalm 86:4-6

"Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!" Psalm 107:14-16
That sentence is repeated three times in Psalm 107!

We have been singing a song at church called, "You are Good". The words are simple and biblically sound. I love Kari Jobe's version on YouTube. She is the worship leader at Gateway in Dallas. Clearly they have an upbeat, modern, and young worship style. That venue is not necessarily our family's preference for Sunday morning, however, this song really touches my heart. She sings it like no one else I've heard. (By the way, she has written and sung many other worshipful songs) Currently, our whole family is singing this one day and night! (Last month "Revelation Song" was our favorite)

Our God is so good and we know He loves to hear us sing about it! I've posted the YouTube video below. I hope it works! Be blessed!

Joshua

This is my new favorite photo of our baby. (although it's slightly blurry b/c I love to take photos without a flash) He is eleven weeks old and nearly fourteen pounds! This outfit is more "big boy" looking than his others. It's a true Polo with feet! Too cute! He has nearly lost all of his original hair, and it is being replaced with very blonde hair. We have so much fun watching these little ones grow into beautiful people!

I continue to feel well with no episodes with my heart! I am so thankful!

God's "Motherly" Qualities

I've been thinking that if as humans, our motherly qualities come from God, then obviously He had them first so...

Does He love to see us smile?

Does He love to hear us laugh?

Does He enjoy it when we delight in Him and talk to Him?

Does He love to hear the sigh of contentment as we rest in His arms?

Does He love to feed us and know that we are satisfied and healthy?

Does He love to watch us sleep?

Does He adore our beautiful physical qualities?

Does He rejoice over our growth?

Does He mourn over the loss of our childlikeness?

Does His heart hurt when we are sad or hurt?

This is how I feel about my children, especially as little babies. How wonderful it is to imagine God, as the perfect mother/father combination, feeling the same about me.

Returning to "Normal"

I am really enjoying having my life back. Today we put together our new trampoline. It is always a great treat to work alongside my enthusiastic children. I have several "older" ones now and that means that I do not have to know it all or do it all. We work as a team! I love it!

As soon as the assembly was completed, we started taking turns.
Anna...
Joy...
Kendal, then Kendal with Mary, who needed a little help, but only on her first turn! Kelsey was the highest jumper!
Issac... Daniel had a turn, then helped Noah, who also wasn't ready to jump alone. I took a couple of turns too, but prefer not to publish the photos. : ) Noah was my sweet companion on the deck steps eating sweet potato chips in his cowboy hat. Children were racing and swinging in the background. It was really a nice afternoon. Thankfully Joshua slept long enough for us to assemble the trampoline and safety net and have a few turns on it. These are (not so attractive) shots we took this week of our two month old baby. He looks quite chubby! In this one it looks like he's pointing to himself with his thumb. We are blessed!

I saw my chiropractor this morning and was somewhat disappointed with her news. She and the cardiologist had talked over the weekend. It seems that after looking over all my test results, the cardiologist was not quite as easy going as she'd been with me in the office. She wants to find the root problem of the frequent PVCs and the drop in my pulse. I'll be calling her back to see when she wants to see me next and update her on the improvement of all my symptoms. I'm also going to ask for more specific directions for recording with the event monitor.

I'm thinking they should redraw the blood tests and redo the 24 hour Holter monitor so they can see how healthy I am currently. It's possible that only another postpartum experience would bring about the bad symptoms again according to my chiropractor. But she still agrees that the root issue needs to be discovered. I'll continue to pray that God will reveal everything that needs to be revealed. I'd also be grateful to accept total healing of my heart!

Two Months Already???

It's true! Our baby is two months old! We haven't taken as many photos during the last two weeks but we did capture both of his dimples and a huge smile!

Daddy's making a crazy face, but we do whatever it takes around here to make a baby smile!
Noah really loves his baby brother. He always insists on greeting him when he enters a room, telling him "bye", "goodnight", etc. Weve never had such a keen two year old before. The baby is always on Noah's radar.

You can't see the baby well, but it's a sweet group shot. I worked all week to get a great one of all nine. It never happened! We need a panoramic, I guess.

I saw a cardiologist today. My appointment with her was moved from Monday. She had not looked at any of my test results before she saw me. I told her everyone else's concerns about the various tests. She glanced at them and did not act concerned. She has given me an event monitor to wear for thirty days. I'm supposed to try to capture the EKG that comes with the dizzy spells by pressing the "record" button if it happens. Then I can send the recording to her office over the phone. At this time she was not recommending any other tests. We briefly discussed a second stress test but not with any immediate plan to perform it. I'm supposed to go back to her office in three weeks. She thinks I should use supplements to help with the symptoms as needed. She admitted that any medication she could prescribe would lower my heartrate and therefore wouldn't be wise. After all the excitement of the last two weeks, I felt my appointment with her was anti-climatic. I'm grateful.

Late last week we started asking our friends and family for prayer. Since Friday afternoon I have been feeling better and better. Today I had total peace on the way to, and in, the doctor's office. My heart hasn't felt this normal in weeks. I am grateful. I feel covered by prayer. God's peace does surpass understanding.

My children seem sweeter. I find myself being willing to listen to their little tales longer. Life is precious but it can be hard to appreciate that when it feels crazy all the time. I've been given another "perspective check" over the last two weeks. I'm grateful.

Yesterday was good. I received wise counsel from my chiropractor in the early morning by phone. I stayed off of the supplements that had been helping my arrhythmias for the last four days. I passed the treadmill stress test. We even discovered that all the arrhythmias stopped while I was exercising. When I finished the test, they resumed.

I was referred to a cardiologist who is very friendly and knowlegeable about nutrition. I will see her on Monday. I'm looking forward to talking with someone who knows a great deal about arrhythmias AND approves of nutritional cures. That doesn't guarantee that her recommendations for me will be "all natural" but atleast we'll be starting on the same page, I hope.

I "passed" the echocardiogram and bubble test afterall. I suppose my technician thought I'd failed it. But thankfully the cardiologists disagreed. At this time, we do not anticipate that I will need any heart surgery! That was a HUGE relief! Best of all, I went all day feeling good and not taking any supplements for my heart.

Lastly, all the other tests showed no bad results. I do have arrythmias, not deadly ones. I have been experiencing the symptoms of bradycardia, and that still needs to be addressed. But for two days now, I have felt practically normal and stress free!

At this time, I have no idea why I've had to walk this scary road. I don't understand why my heart was behaving so badly all last week, or why the slow pulse started two weeks ago. I do not see God's big picture in all this. And I still do not have any answers about what IS wrong. But I can still rest in Him. He has not forsaken me. I am thankful to be here with my family and hopeful that I will be able to complete the task He's set before me and with a healthy heart.

I am still asking for prayer for continued protection over my heart since I have been dipping into the forties and feeling faint. I also am asking for wisdom, as there are still decisions to make about who to see, when to go and how far to keep searching for answers.

God is continuing to write a great story. The last two days, on the supplements have been wonderful. I have been so very grateful to feel like myself again. My pulse has been between 52 and 60 with less pauses and PVCs. The nerve wrecking adrenal rushes have decreased too. I'm torn between giving the credit to the supplements and giving credit to all the prayers that are being lifted on my behalf. Either way, God should be glorified because He has been leading me all the way. In every decision I've made about caring for myself I've sought His counsel first. I've enjoyed thanking Him for feeling normal again.

Today we barely made it to church. We were late. I wasn't helpful since I kept announcing that I wasn't sure why we make the effort anyways. Many of us leave the service to care for little ones. Some days it seems that we are only a distraction. Clearly satan was attempting to keep me from being there. I wasn't wise to his scheme until the end of the service.

I had the pleasure of sharing the mothers' nursing room with a young mom, ten years my junior. She had sought my advice a couple of months ago about PVCs. Last week I shared what had been going on with me. Before I said anything about my week today, she gave me very encouraging information.

She sees a naturopath. I asked for his name. Then she told me how he and a well-known cardiologist were moving into a building together near the "heart hospital". So this well reputed cardiologist is supposedly, intentionally going to be working alongside a naturopath. The news was too good to believe. Ultimately I asked her to repeat it again.

I've already been told that my primary care doctor wants to send me to a cardiologist. I've also been advised to insist on going to the local "heart" hospital and not another if I require surgery. Now, I can hopefully be referred to this cardiologist who apparently atleast tolerates, if not prefers, to try alternative/nutritional treatments! I couldn't be any more fortunate in my happenstance this morning at church.

The young mother and I are becoming fast friends as we've shared our spiritual hearts as well. We've made confessions to one another and agreed to pray for one another.

I feel strengthened for the week ahead. Two other moms, the same as last week, in the nursing room, promised to pray for me too. One has a husband with a defibrillator in his chest and understands the many stresses and fears of walking through a cardiac investigation with medical doctors. That is a blessing too!

One Day at a Time

Yesterday was spent focusing on the "feelings" side of the last couple of weeks with this heart trouble. Sadly, I had a very panic stricken morning before it all got better. When I remembered that the joy of the LORD is my strength I decided to focus on it! I recovered, physically and emotionally from that valley.

In fact, by lunchtime I felt better than I have in two weeks. I had been covered in prayer all day due to meetings that my husband had with church friends, including our pastor, at breakfast and lunchtime, and a meeting I had with a long-time dear friend. My husband's meetings had been scheduled before my troubles started- yet another non-coincidence.

I decided to continue to pray for wisdom while I'm waiting for the medical community to give their advice. I still haven't heard from my doctor about Thursday's echocardiogram. I do know he is out of town right now though.

Regardless of whether there is a plumbing problem in my heart, I still have these bothersome rhythms to live with. Since I've read that these supplements have worked for other people like me, I started to work on a plan for taking taurine, l-arginine, and CoQ10 to try to eliminate or decrease the arrhythmias. Thankfully I had some success.

Today I'm working a slighly different plan and continuing to beg God for wisdom and knowledge in each step. Since I'm breastfeeding I researched repeatedly for side effects and found none. I still want to take the smallest dose necessary to be feeling ok, for baby's safety and mine.

The short story on my feelings is that I know God is bigger than all my collected concerns and potential problems. He can use me as He wills to reach others. I've repeatedly tried to submit my heart (spiritual and physical) to Him and not worry. I tend to cling to my desire to breastfeed tightly. It doesn't fit with advanced cardiac diagnostic tests and procedures of course, so there could come a time when I have to give it up. But I've asked the LORD to tell me or my husband when we reach that point. I know the doctors don't care about my breastfeeding. We have competing goals at times. Once I'm in their care, they just hope I don't die b/c they made a mistake or failed to test me thoroughly enough. I'm hoping for the least invasive solution, or maybe just to put off some invasive events until the baby is older. I realize that I may not have that luxury. I'm reminding myself that it would be ok.

Some random realizations I've had:

~For God the end does justify the means. He often uses/allows temporal means to bring spiritual results.

~Just before the low pulse started, I had prayed often that God would give me a heart like His. I recognize that I do not love enough or like He does and I desire that. When I prayed "change my heart oh God" I wasn't thinking of surgery. : ) But whatever it takes, note my first point.

~When I was a little girl I thought there was something wrong with my heart. I had many chest pains right over my heart. And I greatly feared that I might die. Eventually I grew out of the pains and the fears. But now, it seems strange that I could've been partially correct.

I'm enjoying my family, as crazy as it is, and trying to cherish everyone. Life with nine does not slow down even if Mom is not herself!

Traditional AND Alternative

Today I woke up feeling badly. It was very much like last Monday when this all started. I felt a little dizzy and numb-headed. I could tell that my heart was completely uncoordinated. After lunch I remembered that I had stopped taking taurine a couple weeks ago. It is an amino acid that I have used for years to prevent asthma symptoms and even eye fatigue. By eliminating the asthma symptoms I could avoid many arrhythmias too. In short, it helps muscles get more oxygen.

I suddenly wondered if that had anything to do with my increased heart troubles of late. I took a few capsules and ran to the computer to do a quick Google research. In less than five minutes I discovered that taurine had been proven to eliminate many harmless arrhythmia's including PVCs!!! The doses were large 3-10grams a day. Taurine comes in 500mg capsules. I had never taken more than six capsules in a day. I was extremely excited about the news and hoped it would work for me. Before I went to my echocardiogram I took several more (for a total of 3 grams) and noticed that my pulse had increased to 6o but I still had many PVCs. I also left a message for my chiropractor so that I could get her advice.

During the echocardiogram I could see my abnormal rhythm and the associated pictures of my heart. Basically the structure of my heart was looking good. The last test was called a bubble test. We were able to see actual bubbles inside my left chambers. The test was for an atrial septal defect. When that part of my test was complete the demeanor of my technician changed completely. She'd been communicative, friendly, and interactive. Suddenly she shut down and sent me out. I hesitated long enough to ask her about it but she reminded me that she wasn't allowed to make any diagnoses. My stomach sank and filled with butterflies. I won't know for sure until the cardiology office communicates with my primary care...hopefully tomorrow he'll call us.

At this point I've had enough time to research adult ASDs and it seems to make sense, if it's true. If I have one, it should be repaired. I'm hoping that taking taurine will keep my heart rhythm regular until our baby is finished nursing. I took a few more taurine tonight and I'm having NO PVCs! Praise the Lord! I cannot wait to tell my (traditional) doctor that this supplement is working. And I am so thankful that my chiropractor sweetly advised me how to manage it.

Today I am thankful that my doctor insisted that I have the echocardiogram with the bubble study. He may have led us to the problem that has been bothering me for atleast twenty years. (Since it is congenital I would've actually had it for forty years) Traditional medicine will need to make the repair if my suspicions of the results are true. Alternative medicine will keep me strong until I'm ready and help me recover when it's over.

Well those are the facts of the day. The feelings...they are a different story for another day. But, God is still God no matter what path my life takes. We sang tonight during family worship:

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

chorus

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Traditional or Alternative (part 2)

It seems like a very long time since the last entry because so much happened yesterday. I'm torn between writing it all down and telling an interesting story. I'm chosing to document my thoughts and experiences. I'm trusting God for a great story.

Today I'm at home in the final hours of the 24 hour Holter cardiac monitor. Even in the middle of the night I felt nervous and know this greatly affects my typically abnormal heart rythyms. I don't know the reason for the nervousness but it has continued this morning and is affecting my whole body.

Yesterday, I did have the mineral IV. Unfortunately, I don't feel any different this morning. My pulse is still 52.

Although my medical doctor had not given me any report from last Friday's thyroid panel and etc. he had already scheduled more blood to be drawn when I arrived for the Holter yesterday. That was frustrating to me since I wasn't expecting to be taken to the lab and wondered if the results would be skewed because of the IV fluids. I was forced to tell him that I'd had the IV, which I'd previously decided wasn't important to share since I was certain he wouldn't agree with my chiropractor's decision. I was right. He thought dehydration was a silly concern and the IV was unwarranted. Although my lab results do rightly point to the possibility. There are many possibilities, and that's why it's so easy for practitioners to disagree. I had a questionably high potassium, yet I was given a potassium tablet with my IV at the other medical doctor's office. That was the start of the "train wreck" I was involved in for the remainder of the day. My medical doctor and the more naturally oriented medical doctor whose office gave the IV were destined to talk with one another.

My medical doctor and I had a short discussion about why my chiropractor sends her patients to him. The truth is ugly, but it took me most of the day to realize it. In Virginia chiropractors can order laboratory tests but most insurances will not pay for them. It presents a problem if a patient is sent to a medical doctor with some ideas in their head about what might be wrong and even specific recommendations for labs to be drawn and ultimately covered by insurance. When the results come in the patient chooses to be treated by the chiropractor's techniques leaving the doctor, if he knows it, feeling used and ignored. Yuck! If he's arrogant or very concerned for his patient's health, he's going to respond negatively. My doctor was level-headed, honest and concerned.

I communicated the entire scenario to my chiropractor and encouraged her to seek a peaceful solution. She was very concerned, and determined to attempt to make things better. Either the two of them will agree to work together, or my chiropractor's patients will have to pay for their labs. That means that most will not have the labs performed, therefore missing important medical information.

In the best interest of patients a collaborative effort must be implemented. But how? They do not agree. How can they? Their training barely overlaps. They are unaware of the common ground they share. Generally a medical doctor will refute every idea of the chiroprator/functional medicine doctor.

I was suspicious that this confrontation would ultimately happen. I am praying for wisdom about how to be a mediator as I walk through my medical cardiac investigation. I think I owe my doctor an apology for not considering his feelings on my "two-timing" approach. However, I plan to continue to listen to both professionals' advice, so saying anything could make my doctor release me from his care. Afterall that's what one of those forms I signed on the clipboard said: that I will follow his treatment plan. I hand wrote a note there saying I would follow as we discussed his plan, but he wouldn't have noticed it. He only looks at the computerized version of my chart.

On a more personal note, my medical doctor conducted a 12 lead EKG in his office showing PVCs, bigemeny in fact. I've seen all that before. I was having both in college when I started to investigate my heart initially. The print out from the computer was disturbing though. It had listed (for the doctor's consideration) many cardiac problems...scary ones. I'm not even going to look them up. Afterall it said at the top of the sheet that a doctor should make the determination of a diagnosis not the computer. After seeing it, my doctor concluded that he would be sending me to a cardiologist. I've seen two before. One around my twentieth year, and another around my thirtieth year. I'll be forty in November. Maybe it's just time for my trip to a cardiologist. The last two times they assured me that I was ok, could take a cardiac med to make me feel better, but it wasn't entirely necessary, Of course, I never took a cardiac drug. I wonder if I'll be so fortunate this time.

This morning, I looked at Joshua and wondered if I will live to see him grow up. I questioned whether that was a wise thought from the Lord to sober me up or a condemning thought from the enemy to scare me. I decided to make sure that I do everything that I can to increase the possibility that I will be here for him. Looking into those beautiful baby blues and then being struck with the realization that my "job" of mothering him includes the next twenty years, not just one or two, encouraged me not to fight every medical test or recommendation that I'm encountering.

I felt sorry for myself while being stuck for the third time in four days yesterday. Later, I remembered I'll be stuck atleast once more tomorrow for the echocardiogram. I can't feel bad for more than a couple of seconds, because I am too familiar with the thousands of reasons that millions of people are being stuck by needles these days. I am fortunate. But I always knew I didn't want to be in the company of those needing "medicine".

That thought leads me back to God. Even my medical doctor, during a personal, not professional conversation, last week reminded me that Jesus is a man of sorrows and we are to expect to share in His sufferings. He and I agreed none of us like that part of Christianity. (He wasn't talking about me, but how my stepfather has fought cancer this year) Our life has been so full of blessings and we have always given God the glory for it. Looking around at the lives of others has caused me to wonder when would it be our turn to suffer too.

When Isaac (our third) was born with problems and required a full year of intensive care at home, we "suffered" some. It didn't feel like it since we were fighting for him all the way. We drew close to God and He to us. It was a spiritual mountain top experience. But we would not have chosen it and do not care to repeat it. Honestly, I suppose we are all afraid of having to suffer, be sad, sick or possibly leave or lose our loved ones. For these fears there is the mighty Word of God. Praise the Lord! I'll be focusing there more intently this week. I'll have to.

While I've been writing this my nervousness has disappeared. I feel good. I am thankful.

Traditional or Alternative?

Over the last week I have been on a roller coaster of wondering "what is wrong with me." Last Monday we (all nine children and me) took a short trip to the boardwalk. On our way back to the van I started to feel light-headed. Unfortunately, while driving home I felt somewhat numb in my head...Thankfully, we made it home safely, abbreviating our trip. I had attributed the morning's symptoms to dehydration or a mineral imbalance. So, I probably drank alot and took minerals. I don't remember how I felt for the rest of the day but at bedtime I took my pulse. It was in the low 40s. That is generally low enough to make someone pass out and have their friends and loved-ones call paramedics. I wondered what was happening, said a prayer, and went to sleep.

The next morning, I checked my pulse again. Same thing. Low 40s. I was feeling a little panicked since I am a RN (in early retirement) and therefore do know some things after working in ICU, etc. The only person I know who has had this pulse, passed out and immmediately received a pacemaker. He was a young man...

I continued to focus on praying for wisdom, hydrating, eating well, and taking minerals along with my normal supplements. I called my chiropractor/nutritional specialist for advice or an appointment. She was booked. Her short term suggestion helped me to feel better but did not improve my heartrate.

By Thursday,both my chiropractor and I suspected a postpartum hypothyroid. She wanted my TSH checked. This would require a trip to the family doctor. I dreaded that because I knew he would be very concerned about the bradycardia (low pulse) and possibly insist upon intrusive and dangerous studies that I don't want to have performed on me. On Friday morning he saw me and ordered many labs to be ordered, including the thyroid panel, female hormones, and the typical other stuff. He also ordered various studies of my heart and insisted that I go to an ER if I have dizziness.

Today I saw my chiropractor. She had already acquired my lab results and assured me that I wasn't going to die when she first entered the room. I thought it strange that she would mention that possibility, although I had secretly wondered. Thankfully my appointment with her had been made months earlier and for a long visit too. Thanks to her, tomorrow I'm seeing another medical doctor who uses natural techniques for treating many medical problems. At his office I will be given IV fluid. Apparently, I am deeply dehydrated as indicated by high kidney/liver/blood study results. It isn't something that can be resolved by drinking more or even taking more supplements. But the expectation is that one course of IV fluids with minerals will set everything in order! Praise the Lord! It's my chiropractor who is setting this up after reading my (medically ordered) lab test results! I am so grateful for her and wonder if my medical doctor will come to the same conclusion. I haven't heard from him yet.

Also tomorrow I will have a Holter cardiac monitor placed at my family doctor's office for a 24 hour study of my heart's rhythm. Hopefully, I'll be in normal sinus rhythm after the IV.

On Thursday I'm scheduled for both an echocardiogram and a treadmill stress test. Thankfully all these diagnostics are painless, near our home and somewhat breastfeeding friendly.

One perk of having all this done is that we discovered that my progesterone is so low that I should not be able to even make breastmilk. Now, I'm taking an herbal supplement, from my chiropractor, that is supposed to have an immediate effect on this hormone. I will have many happy results from increasing progesterone. I look forward to that! Best of all, I should have a wonderful supply of milk for our precious little one.

Another secondary blessing is that now we know why the baby and I have been in gastric distress nearly everyday since his birth. My liver enzymes being slightly elevated indicate that I haven't been able to eliminate toxins from my body which causes alot of gas. We've managed ok with herbal tea and simethicone drops. Now we are on a natural supplement with herbs and some l-glutamine for soothing digestion. And when I am effectively rehydrated, I can clean up my liver enough to stop this process. Both the baby and I should be feeling much better soon!

So, can bradycardia be caused by dehydration? I hope so. If not, I pray we discover whatever God wants us to find out very soon.

However, all the while, I've been asking God if He doesn't have another reason for allowing all of this inconvenience (and some justified fear) into my life. Only a month ago we started a personal relationship with our family doctor and his family of 12. It was so unexpected that during the baby's first checkup they invited us over to their home, and later insisted that we stay for dinner. They are a wonderful family and we all enjoyed them immensely. We were even planning a second get together and began to discuss it more seriously with the wife on the morning I made my appointment with her husband. I don't believe in coincidence. It seems our families are meant to share time together and have already been very blessed by the new relationship. Their youngest is 16, while that is the age of our eldest. So we bring sweet memories to their minds of years gone by when they were younger and all sharing life together. They remind us that our children will grow up to be loving and family oriented adults one day. It's a nice trade.

This medical doctor and my chiropractor share many patients. Most medical doctors do not favor the care or input of a chiroprator. I have seen that look in my doctor's eye when I've mentioned something about my health history that relates to my chiropractor. I learned today that the relationship has become recently strained between them but not for any particular reason...now I'm wondering if our family might be used as a tool to bring that multi-disciplinary relationship into order.

We have seen our chiropractor almost monthly for seven years. We barely ever see a medical doctor. We love using vitamins, herbs and minerals rather than drugs to help bring our bodies back into alignment with God's plan. In an emergency, or just to maintain a history of medical care, that the world would view as responsible, we take our children for check ups to a medical doctor. Now because of my dilemma, I'm in the middle, between traditional and alternative medicine. I am at peace and quite thankful for them both. But I'm wondering if the Lord will use this situation to help bring peace between those two practices?

Whatever the outcome of the tests, I desire to be obedient and always glorifying to God in the process. I am praying that my words will be soothing and helpful as we enjoy the fellowship of our doctor and his family during our personal time together. I'm even writing all of this in hopes that one day in the future I'll be able to look back and see the hand of God in our lives and remember that this is how it all started. For now it seems like a strange assortment of coincidences. I don't believe in coincidence.