Deciding whether to post such a sacred family event has been difficult. However, since our family uses this blog to document many of the things that really matter to us throughout the year, missing a baby that we'd hoped for in April 2010, cannot be left out.
We had been slowly sharing the good news of expecting our ninth precious child, when at week seven, on September 13, he/she suddenly left us. This was a first for our family. I am especially thankful for the ease of the process. In a week I was "back to normal", although I hadn't really wanted to be. Friends who knew were especially kind and prayerful. I spent what could have been a terrible week feeling truly cared for by God and by people. Even my mother, who lives eight hours away, was close to my heart (by phone) on one of the more difficult days.
We will not forget that this one little person awaits our family in Heaven. We are so very glad that he is in the best possible place and that his life has been nothing but pure perfection and love. We do not grieve for him. I have grieved for dashed hopes, and a miscarriage-free history, but not for long, because I know I am truly blessed. If God never gave me another child, I am satisfied in Him and with our family. Of course, I truly hope not to miscarry again. But regardless, God is sovereign and He is the same One, worthy of all my trust in any circumstance. Since we trust Him completely with our womb, we look forward to another baby, in another season-if God should be so generous. And I am beginning to understand a fraction of the pain that other ladies who've miscarried are experiencing. This is good.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. "Romans 8:28
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." II Cor. 1:3-4
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
City Gardening
Over the last year, Bob and I have had the pleasure of becoming friends with a man and his wife who are master gardeners. Bob met the husband while swimming at the YMCA. Our family visited their home and farm this summer. They generously shared blueberries, raspberries and figs they'd grown. They own several acres and have gardened for decades.
Recently this nice couple began to teach us how to make raised beds for ourselves. This fall, following their instructions, we've built two raised beds and planted seeds for lettuce, spinach, chinese cabbage, and some herbs. It's been a slower process that what we'd intended due to heavy rains, and borrowing a truck for transporting dirt, and family illness. But we're finally seeing some of the "fruit" of our labor.
Today, after only five days, I observed sprouts from our newly planted seeds! God brought sunshine followed by alot of rain during the last twenty-four hours. This was exactly what was needed since we have been inside with the flu for two days and haven't thought much about watering. I love to see God's hand in all the little details of our life. We are praying that our money and efforts towards raising some of our own food will be very fruitful again in this season. Thankfully, we were able to save enough money over the summer by raising our own salad tomatoes and sweet peppers, to buy all the supplies for the garden, summer and fall!
Bob built two different size beds. We'll decide over time if the deeper one is worth the extra expense.
Daniel, Anna and I moved most of the dirt to the beds on this past Monday.
Both children were so diligent and faithful. I really appreciated their help.
The hoops will support butterfly screens initially, then plastic when it begins to frost at night.
I purchased two packs of plants so that our harvest would be staggered. They were so very reasonable compared to buying the produce at the store! We're praying the butterflies do not find them before we get them covered. Bob's face was priceless when he thought these plants came from the seeds I'd planted a couple of days earlier. : )
One of our first spinach sprouts.
Today our friends brought plenty of spun bond (looks like interfacing to me) for covering the plants. So the beds are safe from butterflies for now!
Recently this nice couple began to teach us how to make raised beds for ourselves. This fall, following their instructions, we've built two raised beds and planted seeds for lettuce, spinach, chinese cabbage, and some herbs. It's been a slower process that what we'd intended due to heavy rains, and borrowing a truck for transporting dirt, and family illness. But we're finally seeing some of the "fruit" of our labor.
Today, after only five days, I observed sprouts from our newly planted seeds! God brought sunshine followed by alot of rain during the last twenty-four hours. This was exactly what was needed since we have been inside with the flu for two days and haven't thought much about watering. I love to see God's hand in all the little details of our life. We are praying that our money and efforts towards raising some of our own food will be very fruitful again in this season. Thankfully, we were able to save enough money over the summer by raising our own salad tomatoes and sweet peppers, to buy all the supplies for the garden, summer and fall!
Bob built two different size beds. We'll decide over time if the deeper one is worth the extra expense.
Daniel, Anna and I moved most of the dirt to the beds on this past Monday.Both children were so diligent and faithful. I really appreciated their help.
The hoops will support butterfly screens initially, then plastic when it begins to frost at night.
I purchased two packs of plants so that our harvest would be staggered. They were so very reasonable compared to buying the produce at the store! We're praying the butterflies do not find them before we get them covered. Bob's face was priceless when he thought these plants came from the seeds I'd planted a couple of days earlier. : )
One of our first spinach sprouts.
Today our friends brought plenty of spun bond (looks like interfacing to me) for covering the plants. So the beds are safe from butterflies for now!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Kelsey's Fourteenth Birthday!
Today Kelsey is fourteen! Last night Bob took her out for a very nice dinner. They both dressed up and when they were ready to go, Bob gave her a necklace of pearls to wear. She looked lovely. They had a delicious dinner and brought home beautiful chocolates to share with Kendal and me.
We made a great Sunday dinner for her birthday this afternoon. We also put a candle in her dinner roll and sang to her. We weren't able to go to church due to alot coughing in our family. But we've had a nice day together.
This evening Kelsey asked if she and I could drive to Edenton, NC and visit Ms. Ennis ( a dear friend of our family). Since it is her birthday, Bob agreed and let us go. We had a short and lovely visit. It would be so nice if Ms. Ennis were closer. We're glad to see her every chance we're given. 
We made a great Sunday dinner for her birthday this afternoon. We also put a candle in her dinner roll and sang to her. We weren't able to go to church due to alot coughing in our family. But we've had a nice day together.
This evening Kelsey asked if she and I could drive to Edenton, NC and visit Ms. Ennis ( a dear friend of our family). Since it is her birthday, Bob agreed and let us go. We had a short and lovely visit. It would be so nice if Ms. Ennis were closer. We're glad to see her every chance we're given. 
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Family Reformation Conference
Today we had the privilege of listening to James and Stacy MacDonald speak about raising children for the glory of our God. Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald came from Illinois with eight of their children to minister to our little group today. It is an honor to have people visit our church who have shaped our lives through their ministries and books. Tomorrow Mr. MacDonald will give the sermon during our household worship service. And we will gather with their family in the evening for a small social over dessert at our pastor's home. What a blessing!
Mrs. MacDonald wrote a spectacular book called Raising Maidens of Virtue. Mr. MacDonald is a pastor of a family integrated church, founder of their family ministry and radio speaker. His email newsletters are biblical and encouraging.
Kendal and Kelsey read a couple of the MacDonald family blogs regularly. I think they especially enjoy meeting other, somewhat famous, virtuous young ladies.
The MacDonalds talked about many things. Their message was bible-based and practical. We especially enjoyed their talk about courtship. They have one married daughter and one in a courtship relationship. With seven daughters and three sons, they'll be pros in due time.
Mrs. MacDonald wrote a spectacular book called Raising Maidens of Virtue. Mr. MacDonald is a pastor of a family integrated church, founder of their family ministry and radio speaker. His email newsletters are biblical and encouraging.
Kendal and Kelsey read a couple of the MacDonald family blogs regularly. I think they especially enjoy meeting other, somewhat famous, virtuous young ladies.
The MacDonalds talked about many things. Their message was bible-based and practical. We especially enjoyed their talk about courtship. They have one married daughter and one in a courtship relationship. With seven daughters and three sons, they'll be pros in due time.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
New photos
Joy and Anna.
Noah at fifteen months.
I was experimenting with natural light and captured this lovely photo of Kendal with our old camera.
Noah at fifteen months.
I was experimenting with natural light and captured this lovely photo of Kendal with our old camera.
Thankfully, Bob bought us a new camera shortly after the old one died. We're still learning how to use it.
Below is the current "stair-step" photo. You can see how everyone is measuring up. Joy is catching up to Anna, and Kelsey passed Kendal long ago! Noah is not happy here. He doesn't want to stand in line, of course!
But, now he's happy riding in his car.
Kelsey and Anna. (it looks like I was experimenting with the "black around the edges" feature)
Joy and Noah.
more to come...
Below is the current "stair-step" photo. You can see how everyone is measuring up. Joy is catching up to Anna, and Kelsey passed Kendal long ago! Noah is not happy here. He doesn't want to stand in line, of course!
But, now he's happy riding in his car.
Kelsey and Anna. (it looks like I was experimenting with the "black around the edges" feature)
Joy and Noah.
more to come...Growing gardens, growing people
I love to go outside and work in the garden. I have such a sense of accomplishment when I am finished. I am dirty, hot, and thirsty. I can look back and see all the places where my work has made an effect.
If it's quiet while I'm working, then I have many deep thoughts. Sometimes it seems as if God is teaching me by speaking to my heart. The analogies between caring for a garden and caring for my children have been so direct that they've seemed surreal. I've been wanting to write down every wise teaching from the garden. I'm committed to save these summer treasures. I'm trying to do it here. The messages seemed profound when they were spoken to me in the garden. I was inspired. Now the lessons sound (or read) simplistic, but my experiences with God were truly holy...
Young plants (young adults) need protection: When the tomatoes and squash were growing quite large, I planted a couple of seedlings among them. I knew the little plants would be broken by balls or feet if they weren't protected. I used hardware wire that I shaped into a circle around them. The sun and water could still get to them and we could still easily see each part of the plants, but they were buffered from danger. Likewise, young children need protection. But it's more than that. Even young adults need protection. They need safe places to grow and mature. Like the young squash, they are close to maturity, but so tender and susceptible to danger. Extra measures must be taken to protect them. And the timing of removing the protection is crucial, lest the plant's growth be hindered. God is the ultimate authority on proper sheltering.
Weed often (weeds are sins, ungodly passions): When the garden is first planted the dirt is clean and clear between each newly planted vegetable. It reminds me of caring for an infant. Everything is sweet. After a couple of weeks the weeds start to visibly invade the dirt. The weeds are easier to spot and remove when there are just a few of them. This is also true in our children's lives. Ungodly heart attitudes are much easier to discover and "root out" when they have just begun. That's one reason that I enjoy a baby so much. Each birth presents a fresh start and bed of opportunity-just like a new, weedless garden. A diligent "gardener" will return over and over to root out the new weeds. I try not to overreact to bad attitudes/sin/ungodliness in our children, afterall I can sport an ungodly attitude just as well. Often that reality causes me to repent, in front of them, of my own poor example and then come alongside them to discuss how we can be more like Christ. "Weeding" is much more time and energy consuming than any other part of gardening-and parenting.
Weeds left unrestrained will take over a garden. Ultimately the desired plants can barely be seen. The weeds require deep digging to be removed, often damaging the nearby vegetable roots. The vegetables will wilt and threaten to die. But water, sun and weedless soil will give them another chance. That is very much like removing the undesirable things from a young person's life. They sulk. They want us to believe that they'll die without "such and such". But, they won't. Then again, there are those deadly attachments to certain sins (weeds) that do threaten a young person if we forcefully remove them. So, we must be vigilant and never tolerate a small dose of a deadly habit or appetite.
Hope: there is always hope. Never give up-on a plant or a child. I had a plant that threatened to die after I had vigorously weeded around it. I had even severed part of it. Secondly, we had another small plant that was trampled by little feet. It was broken at the main stem. I replanted it in a safer place. Both of the above plants survived. Both had appeared dead, hopeless. When I discovered them thriving and green, I sensed that God wanted to gently discipline me for being impatient and thinking certain situations were long-term problems in our family. In fact, in a short time, both plants looked new again. I think He wants me to develop a more patient, "marathon" mentality and not always look for instant maturity or fruit.
Beautiful, fruitless plants: I built an 8 foot trellis for our cucumbers. I planted seven plants. They grew like weeds. In a couple weeks the trellis was covered with vines and blooms, like the one in the photo above. Those vines promised to produce a summer full of cucumbers. It's now August and we have picked less than a dozen cucumbers from there. However, the tomatoes, slow to bear fruit, and quite over-grown and ugly, have filled our freezer with bags of soup-starting tomatoes! We've had many meals stocked with tomatoes! The two modest bush tomatoes have provided grape tomatoes for nearly every dinner salad. That cucumber trellis looks like a monument of infertility. Similarly, we do not desire to raise beautiful fruitless children. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control." Looking "good" on the outside is good if that attractiveness can draw one person to another initially. But the Spirit of the Lord, through us, ministers to the sick, gives to the poor, cares for widows and orphans, and brings men to repentance. This is a fruitful life!
"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them."Eph. 5:11
"Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." Matt. 7:19-21
"...I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last." John 15:16
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Four dollars and one hour alone
Many years ago, a very good friend of mine said that she and her husband have weekly dates and she recommended that all married couples do the same. I scoffed at the idea, at at the time, since all of our children were very young and I didn't like to ask for sitters. Now that we have enjoyed nearly two years of dating on a regular basis, I have to agree that it is the lifeblood of our friendship.
Dating means leaving the house and going somewhere else. It's funny how we can forget how to do such a basic thing. It amazes me how much younger we both act and feel when we are in our vehicle alone!!! At that point it doesn't matter where we go as long as we can both focus on being together.
Tonight we enjoyed a Thin Mint Blizzard at Dairy Queen. We ate it in the van. Two spoons. One cup. We watched the teens come in and out and talked about them. We listened to pop music from the 60's, 70's and 80's and remembered our own highschool days. If only we'd known back then how it would all turn out...God is so good!
Dating helps us to remember a time when we could think of nothing but one another. It's like looking at a wedding album. It conjurs up loving memories. Those memories seem like strangers during the difficult days of marriage. It's so good to go back.
We are the same two people who thought they were in love 22 years ago. It helps us to remind ourselves of how things were back then. We spend alot of time and energy on the serious parts of maintaining our marriage and family life. Now it makes sense to me that we also should balance those efforts with nostalgia, reminiscing and fun! And we can do it with only four dollars and one hour away from home!
Dating means leaving the house and going somewhere else. It's funny how we can forget how to do such a basic thing. It amazes me how much younger we both act and feel when we are in our vehicle alone!!! At that point it doesn't matter where we go as long as we can both focus on being together.
Tonight we enjoyed a Thin Mint Blizzard at Dairy Queen. We ate it in the van. Two spoons. One cup. We watched the teens come in and out and talked about them. We listened to pop music from the 60's, 70's and 80's and remembered our own highschool days. If only we'd known back then how it would all turn out...God is so good!
Dating helps us to remember a time when we could think of nothing but one another. It's like looking at a wedding album. It conjurs up loving memories. Those memories seem like strangers during the difficult days of marriage. It's so good to go back.
We are the same two people who thought they were in love 22 years ago. It helps us to remind ourselves of how things were back then. We spend alot of time and energy on the serious parts of maintaining our marriage and family life. Now it makes sense to me that we also should balance those efforts with nostalgia, reminiscing and fun! And we can do it with only four dollars and one hour away from home!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Busch Gardens with friends
We've taken full advantage of our Fun Passes at Busch Gardens this summer! Bob and I have gone alone for date nights, double date night, "older girls with Mom and Dad" night, and many family evenings with only our family, or with our friends. As of tomorrow we have one month left...
Last week when we joined two other families at the park there were twenty-two children between the six of us adults!!! It was fun and challenging to keep everyone entertained and safe!
We all ate dinner together and coordinated many roller coaster rides, kiddie rides, and time in the Land of the Dragons. It was great fun being with such gracious folks. We enjoyed the challenges as much as the thrills on the rides! It often attracts the attention of the workers at the park to see so many children together. Thursday was no exception. A lady who sold drinks to us in New France had many questions and sweet comments for me and the other two moms. We always pray that our words and actions will bless other people, but most often we leave encouraged!
We've included photos of our friends, but since our blog is now open to all readers, I won't identify each of them since I don't have their permission to do so. That said, these are some of our dearest friends and we adore their families and often treat their children like our own. It's such a blessing to be in community with other believers.
The log flume was one ride that most everybody could ride. So the moms waited with the babies/littlest ones on a bridge that the flume went under. It was fun trying to capture their pictures as they floated under us.
These four boys were thrilled to ride together. One of them had never been on any rides before. It didn't slow him down!
Moms and dads were glad to cool off in the water where the little ones were allowed to play!
The smokehouse/barbeque place has become our favorite dinner spot. The portions are generous and yummy. It's also right near the Griffon, one of our favorite roller coasters!
This is our family below, but Kendal is taking the picture, and Noah is in the stroller by the table.
Our digital camera died shortly after this trip. So unless our backup camera takes some decent shots, our blogging with pictures could be limited! We were given tickets to a local baseball game on Monday and took another family along. A neighbor came to our door asking how many tickets we could use. God pours His blessings upon us everyday!!! We invited our friends, who live nearby. There were nineteen of us! We took alot of pictures and had a good time, but the photos are ruined...
Last week when we joined two other families at the park there were twenty-two children between the six of us adults!!! It was fun and challenging to keep everyone entertained and safe!
We all ate dinner together and coordinated many roller coaster rides, kiddie rides, and time in the Land of the Dragons. It was great fun being with such gracious folks. We enjoyed the challenges as much as the thrills on the rides! It often attracts the attention of the workers at the park to see so many children together. Thursday was no exception. A lady who sold drinks to us in New France had many questions and sweet comments for me and the other two moms. We always pray that our words and actions will bless other people, but most often we leave encouraged!
We've included photos of our friends, but since our blog is now open to all readers, I won't identify each of them since I don't have their permission to do so. That said, these are some of our dearest friends and we adore their families and often treat their children like our own. It's such a blessing to be in community with other believers.
The log flume was one ride that most everybody could ride. So the moms waited with the babies/littlest ones on a bridge that the flume went under. It was fun trying to capture their pictures as they floated under us.
These four boys were thrilled to ride together. One of them had never been on any rides before. It didn't slow him down!
Moms and dads were glad to cool off in the water where the little ones were allowed to play!
The smokehouse/barbeque place has become our favorite dinner spot. The portions are generous and yummy. It's also right near the Griffon, one of our favorite roller coasters!
This is our family below, but Kendal is taking the picture, and Noah is in the stroller by the table.
Our digital camera died shortly after this trip. So unless our backup camera takes some decent shots, our blogging with pictures could be limited! We were given tickets to a local baseball game on Monday and took another family along. A neighbor came to our door asking how many tickets we could use. God pours His blessings upon us everyday!!! We invited our friends, who live nearby. There were nineteen of us! We took alot of pictures and had a good time, but the photos are ruined...Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Am I learning anything?
One would think that since I started this blog I must have had many lessons to document for posterity. Either my memory is failing, or I'm not learning much. Maybe I've been neglectful because the moments that I intended to record are small, quick and generally in the middle of some chaos.
If there is a reoccurring theme for me, as a wife, it is to be patient. I'm learning to wait for my husband's thoughts by not filling every quiet moment with my voice and my ideas. If I don't say everything that is on my mind, he often shares his ideas and they are impressive. I would've liked to have known that years ago!
If there is a reoccurring theme for me, as a wife, it is to be patient. I'm learning to wait for my husband's thoughts by not filling every quiet moment with my voice and my ideas. If I don't say everything that is on my mind, he often shares his ideas and they are impressive. I would've liked to have known that years ago!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Fourth of July Fun!
It was such a busy and wonderful weekend! On Friday night, we attended a concert of the US Fleet Band in the city park with Grandma Butler and many of our friends. We visited during the concert and ate alot of popcorn. The fireworks were beautiful and the music was very patriotic!
Over breakfast on Saturday, in place of morning bible study, we discussed what Independence Day is really about. It was a lively conversation about the brave folks who put their lives on the line when they signed the Declaration. Bob and I even serenaded our family with our version of the "Star Spangled Banner".
In the afternoon we celebrated with our church family at a pool party picnic in our neighborhood. It was a gorgeous day and loads of fun! There were over fifty children swimming, playing and eating. Our hosts graciously reminded us of the meaning of the Fourth and lead us is a prayer of praise and gratitude for our many freedoms, physical and spiritual.
When everything was cleaned up, our family, and the host family of the party, headed to Busch Gardens for rides, more fireworks and dinner! More fun! We are blessed!
Below is our family with Grandma Butler before the concert.
Kendal, Kelsey and I designed matching clothes for the girls in our family. Kendal made herself a shirt and sash, and Kelsey made a coordinating sash for herself, while I sewed t-shirt dresses for the three little girls. We were able to get their t-shirts on sale at Kohl's. Noah's outfit was free with a coupon! (girls, including me, think this is as fun as attending the event) They all wore their new outfits all weekend. I washed them at night, of course.
Grandma Butler and Mary at the concert
Kendal and Kelsey with three of their girlfriends. They played Uno on the blanket during the concert.
We were so glad to see Ms. Ennis at the concert too! She's hugging Kendal, Joy and Noah here.
Watching fireworks.
Noah at the pool party on Saturday. Our friend, Jennifer, took this great shot!
And this one of the young ladies in the pool. Kendal and Kelsey are on the far end.
These are the Butler and Ward children (minus 2) at the entrance of Busch Gardens. Both our families have summer passes, so we go together often.
Over breakfast on Saturday, in place of morning bible study, we discussed what Independence Day is really about. It was a lively conversation about the brave folks who put their lives on the line when they signed the Declaration. Bob and I even serenaded our family with our version of the "Star Spangled Banner".
In the afternoon we celebrated with our church family at a pool party picnic in our neighborhood. It was a gorgeous day and loads of fun! There were over fifty children swimming, playing and eating. Our hosts graciously reminded us of the meaning of the Fourth and lead us is a prayer of praise and gratitude for our many freedoms, physical and spiritual.
When everything was cleaned up, our family, and the host family of the party, headed to Busch Gardens for rides, more fireworks and dinner! More fun! We are blessed!
Below is our family with Grandma Butler before the concert.
Kendal, Kelsey and I designed matching clothes for the girls in our family. Kendal made herself a shirt and sash, and Kelsey made a coordinating sash for herself, while I sewed t-shirt dresses for the three little girls. We were able to get their t-shirts on sale at Kohl's. Noah's outfit was free with a coupon! (girls, including me, think this is as fun as attending the event) They all wore their new outfits all weekend. I washed them at night, of course.Grandma Butler and Mary at the concert
Kendal and Kelsey with three of their girlfriends. They played Uno on the blanket during the concert.
We were so glad to see Ms. Ennis at the concert too! She's hugging Kendal, Joy and Noah here.
Watching fireworks.
Noah at the pool party on Saturday. Our friend, Jennifer, took this great shot!
And this one of the young ladies in the pool. Kendal and Kelsey are on the far end.
These are the Butler and Ward children (minus 2) at the entrance of Busch Gardens. Both our families have summer passes, so we go together often.
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